Owen's Practice Journal, Part II

It occurred to me recently that the experience of my thoughts is non-conceptual. I don't know if that's useful to anybody else, but there it is.

Yes! Have you read up on memes? For example, all words are defined by other words and we don't think of what we will say but just say it. That's some crazy stuff to contemplate. It's a big super structure that starts with the fact of Me and other, then each of these is defined more and more by adding more and more specific terms for the distinctions we pick out.

It's crazy because it can be so automatic.

"Yes! Have you read up on memes? For example, all words are defined by other words and we don't think of what we will say but just say it. That's some crazy stuff to contemplate. It's a big super structure that starts with the fact of Me and other, then each of these is defined more and more by adding more and more specific terms for the distinctions we pick out.

It's crazy because it can be so automatic."

Yeah, I'm familiar with memes. I was more thinking about the raw "feel" of thoughts when you stop caring about the meaning. As this thing deepens, I just keep getting dumber.

"Yeah, I'm familiar with memes. I was more thinking about the raw "feel" of thoughts when you stop caring about the meaning. As this thing deepens, I just keep getting dumber. " ~Owen

Yep!

Owen, what you are seeing now is what happened to me for a time post-4th path. I stopped caring much about anything but what was right in front of my nose. I found it hard to concentrate on long term objectives and complex thought structures. It made me seem stupid and silly, almost senile. In the end It faded, as everything always does. It'll probably return one day..... for a while

Yeah, funny thing. This is actually round 2 of dumb phase. It seems to be replacing lazy phase as the default. It's pretty nice, but like I said earlier, creates scheduling issues. "Eternal and endless present" is not an option in my organization's enterprise groupware calendaring solution.

There is definitely some kind of spiraling effect that occurs post-awakening. The superfluity of complex subjects (or at least their presumed importance) becomes glaringly obvious.

It's almost as if the realization of "no-block" results in a new kind of block, which gets in the way of the free expression of source activity. The block is somewhat Existential, I think, as it pertains to what we feel we should "do" with ourselves post-awakening. I think this is related to what Adyashanti refers to as an integration that occurs at the level of "guts."

Funny how the conversations about post-awakening take on a much different flavor than those which occurred pre-awakening.

"... a much different flavor ..."

Rasberry

Seriously, post 4th path it all seems to be "Sh*t, what do I do with myself now?"

Yeah, that's how it feels. We'll see if that lasts. Maybe, maybe not. I like to take a waiting and seeing attitude.

On the other hand, that should be expected in some way since the flip side is a huge amount of choice/freedom that was not apparent before the experience. I think these things are related - you can't have the freedom and choice without the untethered feeling, right?

Oh man, Im glad you guys are taking about this. I'm so in a lazy/ dumb mode which is actually quite nice as I seem to be with whatever is in front of my nose and that only. And there is great peace with that as I am not dwelling in fantasies and futures not happened. Obviously the whole, could get better/worse/stay the same advice is in order, but man....hard to keep at something longterm. So this is is definitely a phase thing and I'm not the only one. Good to know.

and at the moment the flavour is Kylie Minogue and Thom Yorke, playing air guitar, and vegemite and mexican food ...burritos!!!.

For me, the flavor is indie music, espresso, hummus and vegetables, and spontaneous undirected conversations about whatever.

Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, my front porch, mocha espresso and..... watching life go by without judging it.

Man, all those things sound awesome!

I think I'll give my dog a bath, drink some genmaicha and listen sides 3 and 4 of the new Arcade fire.

Irish breakfast tea, 9 hour car drives, singing bob Dylan songs...

Was playing around last night with extending a rigpa style awareness into the gap in a fruition. Kenneth clued me into it. It gets interesting. It becomes a whiteout as conditioned reality drops away. The fun really comes with NS. I was able to have a really extended whiteout - We rode the arc up to 13 and resolved to retain bare awareness through the experience. It is _not_ a classical NS. It's hard to describe. It's as if everything that is not awareness is gone. Almost a compressed third gear. When it ended, I was not able to get out of 3rd gear. Still can't. One Taste got engraved on the mind somehow. It will probably fade, but I'm enjoying it while it lasts.

During sleep, I carried awareness into the dream state. It became astounding to watch as the dream ended and I was aware into dreamless sleep. Dreamless sleep is just One Taste. I think we all dip into that each night without noticing it. Astounding.

Owen, you have no idea how much that inspires me to keep working on this thing. What you just described is like my dreams come true!

"I was not able to get out of 3rd gear. Still can't."

So Owen, who's doing the typing?

"
"I was not able to get out of 3rd gear. Still can't."

So Owen, who's doing the typing?



"

Karma.

"Owen, you have no idea how much that inspires me to keep working on this thing. What you just described is like my dreams come true!"

Did you note inspiration?

Naw, I was being lazy.

Laziness, amusement, pressure - neutral, annoyance, happiness, pressure...

"Naw, I was being lazy.

Laziness, amusement, pressure - neutral, annoyance, happiness, pressure..."

Huzzha!

Oddly enough, I kept noting after that while working on a computer and had an intense fruition that really left me reeling for a few seconds. Thanks for that it was awesome!

I did it with him and it left the mind in 3rd gear for a longtime. I still feel very /...hmm...different today. This happened last night. It needs more exploration though. But defitnitly left the mind in 3rd gear for a long period.