Owen's Practice Journal, Part II

The first time I read it, I thought it perfectly described third gear practice. It put me right into third gear present awareness. But as I studied it more closely, I noticed this part: "there is neither tolerance nor intolerance '“ with no acceptance or prejudice." Since tolerance and especially acceptance equate with surrender, then Richard has ruled out surrender and third gear as a practice for AF. Perhaps because surrender has an feeling tone quality, and he says this about the feeling tones later in the essay: "Apperceptiveness is the immediate sensitive discernment of whatever is happening without the medium of feeling '“ it comes before the feeling-tones in the perceptual process".

Anyway, apparently that third gear (grounding) practice worked for you.
Just 2 cents from someone trying to map this out.
Thanks Owen,
Gary

Hi Gary,

I wont assume to talk for Owen's experience. But in my own experience and in talks with others who talk of getting AF, there is a seemingly shared period of 'adjustment' for some directly post AF and a deepening of the AF result over time. This period has not been talked about openly as it was deemed unnecessary to share for those gunning for AF. In the short time since the last shift, I have seen such 'adjustment' was necessary and still ongoing, and that there remain 'preferences' (although now not fueled by any affect) but I've been told they may begin to fade (due to this lack of affective fuel) over time and this is true, I have begun to see certain preferences fall flat.

I personally don't sit, but might lie down and go into the possibly sutta style 'NS' for short periods as it seems to make the 'adjustment' flow easier. I was told to hang out in the 7th jhana focus to 'clean up' any residue by an AFer, as well as hang out all day in the sutta style 'NS'. Some of the stuff that can occur directly post-release is not neccessary to know about to move towards AF or awareness release or whatever you wish to call it, so not much info is out there on what may happen. Ask an AFer though and they might share what it was/is for them.

Below in the next post is an exchange where Vineeto talks about something like what i mentioned.
actualfreedom.com.au/directroute/19.htm#24Jan10
Nick

SUBSCRIBER NO. 19: Post extinction of identity, how does one operate. Is there a complete break away from the pre-event order of things or does something still linger from the past?
VINEETO: Some things are very simple because the flesh-and-blood body knows how to do most things such as getting up in the morning, taking a bath/swim, making breakfast, answering the phone, typing words, reading and so on. The difference is that doing these things now is a play and a delight and no emotional interference ever occurs.
A lot of things are of course new and I am still finding out. As I said before, I only had a few interactions with identities, and living with two actually free men is an ongoing delight. Some remnant hangovers of my old identity, such as habitual patterns have already come up and are now in process of vanishing/ have vanished and I am sure some will still occur. However, with no emotional ties to impede the operation of a bare awareness/apperception, this is a fairly quick and easy task.
SUBSCRIBER NO. 19: Does universe is infinite a certainty now? And can you explain about how do you know it with so much certainty.
VINEETO: It has been a certainty for me for a long time, intellectually understood at first, that there can't be a '˜something' let alone a '˜nothing' beyond the imagined borders of the universe and any such ideas were experientially confirmed in my PCEs as being nothing other than human imagination in operation. However, about a week ago, I clearly experienced this consciousness being without limits and the vast stillness of the infinite universe became fully apparent. I then experienced it as a fact that I am this infinite universe experiencing itself as a flesh-and-blood conscious human being. This experience occurred again today but is not yet an ongoing moment-to-moment experience. Richard reported that it took him several years to realize the full depth and purity of an actual freedom.
It's still early days."

Thanks Nick. I thinks this speaks to a larger issue though - the urge to find a supposed "enlightened retirement".

There is the notion that once you get to a certain place in your spiritual development everything is going to be effortless bliss all the time. Horsesh*t. It does get better, and suffering does come to an end. However, if you eat a bunch of of cheezy habenero poppers the next morning is still going to be rough.

Karma is still in full effect, there just isn't a batch of karma that is confused to be a self. Being able to see how this works more clearly and operate in it more skilfully is a never-ending process. You might have your identity firmly rooted in the Dharmakaya, but you still gotta to park your car away from the fire hydrant.

Thanks Nick, Owen.

I definitely got the impression of a happy and blissful "enlightened retirement" in paradise from reading Richard's writing. I have not read all his writing or talked with him so I won't draw any conclusions from that, but speaking generally, I prefer the facts over a sales job. Although I will admit, the carrot of the blissful "enlightened retirement" does have more attraction to me, and probably motivates me better, than more work, or effort, or sitting, of any kind. Call me human.
I think- "maybe after the several year adjustment period, THEN you get the blissful retirement". I want to BELIEVE.
Also, I did not know you could still hang out in the jhanas after AF, so thanks for that piece, Nick.

"Thanks Nick, Owen.

I definitely got the impression of a happy and blissful "enlightened retirement" in paradise from reading Richard's writing. I have not read all his writing or talked with him so I won't draw any conclusions from that, but speaking generally, I prefer the facts over a sales job. Although I will admit, the carrot of the blissful "enlightened retirement" does have more attraction to me, and probably motivates me better, than more work, or effort, or sitting, of any kind. Call me human.
I think- "maybe after the several year adjustment period, THEN you get the blissful retirement". I want to BELIEVE.
Also, I did not know you could still hang out in the jhanas after AF, so thanks for that piece, Nick.
"

I found it helpful to notice the reasons I wanted the enlightened retirement were the exact same things I was running from. When I got willing to sit with those things without needing enlightenment to make them all better, the real dharma work got moving.

"Thanks Nick, Owen.

I definitely got the impression of a happy and blissful "enlightened retirement" in paradise from reading Richard's writing. I have not read all his writing or talked with him so I won't draw any conclusions from that, but speaking generally, I prefer the facts over a sales job. Although I will admit, the carrot of the blissful "enlightened retirement" does have more attraction to me, and probably motivates me better, than more work, or effort, or sitting, of any kind. Call me human.
I think- "maybe after the several year adjustment period, THEN you get the blissful retirement". I want to BELIEVE.
Also, I did not know you could still hang out in the jhanas after AF, so thanks for that piece, Nick.
"

Hi Gary,

The jhanas do not have any absorption quality to them at all as there is nothing here to get absorbed (flow of being). The mental and eye focus are the only things that shift for each jhana.

It is probably wise to know when Richard wrote a particualr piece or not, as he said it took several years for him to realise the full depth of it. Most of his writings I assume were written more than several years after getting AF. Ample time for it to deepen and be more representative in his writings of the 'blissful retirement'.

Even with 'adjustments' directly post, it is THE carrot to eat and I'm only 6 or so weeks in.

"The first time I read it, I thought it perfectly described third gear practice. It put me right into third gear present awareness. But as I studied it more closely, I noticed this part: "there is neither tolerance nor intolerance '“ with no acceptance or prejudice." Since tolerance and especially acceptance equate with surrender, then Richard has ruled out surrender and third gear as a practice for AF. Perhaps because surrender has an feeling tone quality, and he says this about the feeling tones later in the essay: "Apperceptiveness is the immediate sensitive discernment of whatever is happening without the medium of feeling '“ it comes before the feeling-tones in the perceptual process".

Anyway, apparently that third gear (grounding) practice worked for you.
Just 2 cents from someone trying to map this out.
Thanks Owen,
Gary"

First time I read Richard's Apperceptiveness text. To me it is pure Dzogchen Trekchöd.

Beautiful work.

Hi Nick,
While I find the apperceptiveness piece evocative, I still have problems putting it into practice EXACTLY as written.
If I edited out the parts that contradict 3rd gear practice, I would have an excellent guide to 3rd gear practice. But instead I have the impression that 90+% of the piece leads me directly into 3rd gear practice, while the rest of it, contrary-wise, leads me away from third gear.
The contrary portions include
1) "there is neither tolerance nor intolerance '“ with no acceptance or prejudice." Since tolerance, and especially acceptance equate with surrender, then Richard has ruled out surrender and third gear as a practice for AF.

2) "Apperceptiveness is the immediate sensitive discernment of whatever is happening without the medium of feeling '“ it comes before the feeling-tones in the perceptual process". To me, the practice of surrender, and Kenneth's lightning rod practice of grounding thoughts, proto-thoughts, and emotions etc. happens through opening to, and accepting, the feeling tones underlying those manifestations. Although grounding keeps me very present-moment oriented, it also takes my focus into feeling the energy of beingness. That internal focus on the energy of beingness, from my understanding, leads away from the PCE.

Since I have a tendency and affiliation for third gear, I go into third gear easily, and thus, I get no PCE. I can also from that state "groove" on something detailed and beautiful, but still no PCE.
Gary

"First time I read Richard's Apperceptiveness text. To me it is pure Dzogchen Trekchöd.

Beautiful work."

I don't know this Dzogchen Trekchöd teaching. Do you have a link you can reccomend?

Hi Gary,

Can you describe what '3rd gear' expericne is like for you, phenomenologically speaking?

Nick

"I don't know this Dzogchen Trekchöd teaching. Do you have a link you can reccomend?
"

Here are a few introductory links (no teachings or instructions), just general info:
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kadag_Trekch%C3%B6
www.rigpawiki.org/index.php?title=Trekch%C3%B6
wearebuddhamind.blogspot.com/2009/10/tul...e-interview-for.html

As for Trekchöd teachings, a Lama is the best source, although most require preliminary practices.

You can also look for these books (they don't replace a Lama but they present the Trekchöd view flawlessly):
www.amazon.com/As-Vol-Tulku-Urgyen-Rinpo...id=1315417877&sr=1-1
www.amazon.com/As-Vol-Tulku-Urgyen-Rinpo.../ref=pd_bxgy_b_img_b
www.amazon.com/Supreme-Source-Fundamenta...id=1315418037&sr=1-1 (very old tantra on Dzogchen)

And my all time favorite:
www.amazon.com/Precious-Treasury-Way-Abi...id=1315418158&sr=1-1

by Longchen Rabjam

Just for future reference I thought to include this quote from Peter of the AF website talking about something similar to what Owen and myself have gone through post-release:

BEGINNING OF QUOTE: Whilst I had had some experiences of some minor remnants of the habitual patterns of previous behaviour prior to this (such as jumping from one topic to another in conversations or jumping from one thing to do to the next without fully completing the first instead of sensibly prioritising things to be done and re-adjusting my priorities when and as appropriate) experiencing the physical remnants of a previous very strong (12 year long) motivation still running as a physical sensation after becoming actually free was quite unexpected and at first confusing for me.

Now that the physical remnants of '˜his' habitual heart-felt feelings and compulsive drive about doing whatever '˜he' could to bring about peace on earth have now finally disappeared, I can understand what was happening at the time and also understand why it happened. An illusionary identity, over a period of 60 odd years, is so real that it caused physical symptoms in the flesh and body '“ a tightening of the chest muscles, in this case. When the identity expired these physical reactions were still habitually at '˜work' and thus some after-the-event tidying up is required. A bare awareness or apperceptive attentiveness, does the trick far, far quicker than any identity-centred awareness could ever do.

Although I had an inkling of what to expect after becoming actually free because, although Richard reported how he experienced a '˜fine-tuning' after the event ...

Richard: '...there needs to be a tidying-up of social mores and habitual patterns '˜after the event' anyway ... an actual freedom does not miraculously remove every little detail. It does make the fine-tuning a breeze, though.' Richard, List AF, No. 12b, 16.2.1999.

... it still came as somewhat of a shock to experience it myself, hence the confusion that transpired in my writing. END OF QUOTE actualfreedom.com.au/directroute/22.htm

Note: It should be stated that these possible post-adjustments may not occur for some and for others that claim AF/release, they did not as far as I have been told. People are still speculating as to why there is this 'left over' stuff for some and not for others. Early days.

Nick

Owen, what happens when you read a book or a fairytale? Can you locate yourself (or better the consciousness)? Is it in the story or outside watching the hands hold the book? Thank you.

"Owen, what happens when you read a book or a fairytale? Can you locate yourself (or better the consciousness)? Is it in the story or outside watching the hands hold the book? Thank you."

this is the second strangest question I've gotten all day. Hmm... I suppose when I read I'm much more aware of my surroundings, but I can still stay with the flow of the story.
Getting absorbed isn't easy since the default awareness is pretty damn spacious, but when I'm doing something that's the only thing I'm doing. Hope that answers your question.

Hi Nick.
OK. I hope doesn't bother Owen.
I can feel my whole body, but I mostly feel a radiant inner core. The inner core starts at the crown of my head, down behind my eyes and nose, in my mouth, tongue, through my throat, through my chest, to just under the rib cage, into the top of my abdomen. My abdomen feels relaxed, and I take shallow abdominal breaths in a relaxed pace, like sleep breathing. I feel my heartbeat in my chest.
I feel the self consciousness of doing this has amplified my self sense. That radiant core feels like a core tension of self identity, that if I could relax it, would merge with surrounding space. The rest of my body, my hands and feet, for example, feel more neutral and congruent with surrounding space.
The radiant core of ME has a pleasant tone. I feel very good. I feel a pouring of equanimity into that space of ME. It pours from here to here. If I look away from the screen for a bit, the radiant core expands more, filling more of my body. I feel peaceful, relaxed, warm, and radiating energy.... my eyes have a soft open focus.
The effortless pouring, or giving, and radiating, of this energy, of myself, continues. Still, I have a sense of a surrounding space outside of my body. If the core energy or tension of me disappeared, only this immaculate space would remain.
Gary

Thanks APriori,
I'll check those out!
Gary

After I shut the computer down and relaxed more, the radiance expanded to fill my whole body, then the surrounding space as well. Discriminating inside and outside mostly went away. (lying down now with eyes closed)
All one fullness, radiance everywhere.
Nice.

Hey Gary,

Let's start your own practice thread. Start one up with the same stuff you just posted in the last 3 posts. We'll leave this thread for Owen's notes.

Nick

"Hey Gary,

Let's start your own practice thread. Start one up with the same stuff you just posted in the last 3 posts. We'll leave this thread for Owen's notes.

Nick"

good idea!
thanks,
Gary

"this is the second strangest question I've gotten all day.
"

Can't take long 'til I win the first prize.

Hey Everybody,
Going to stop posting on this thread as it seems to be pretty wrapped up. I'll be keeping my new practice journal over at thehamiltonproject.blogspot.com/p/hamilton-project-forum.html from now on. Also, if anybody needs me please use my personal email (can be found at the hamilton project) rather than the kfd site email. (It makes archiving easier).

I've stopped doing formal teaching for right now, but if you are a yogi who can get to Brooklyn and likes coffee drop me a line. Always love chatting with folks and there is a nice little spot near my new apartment.
And don't worry, I'm still going to be hanging around here reading and posting on other threads as always.

Take care,
-o