Russell's Practice III

Where is awareness, or what is happening before I have a thought about it?

What is asking that question?

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What is asking that question?

"

Yes! That's the type question that comes up when pondering the question I stated above. Why does there need to be a self to be aware when awareness is already aware?

Sometimes when I ask these types of questions, if I'm very focused and calm, I can see the question reinforcing the sense of self. Paradoxically, that makes it tangible enough to just let it go, or stop creating it momentarily to some degree.

Yes. For me it also creates a certain confusion because the further I take it the more paradoxical it becomes. What is new, is a new found love for confusion and the unknowing. I think this confusion is where I need to rest.

When I do 3rd gear type practices I watch any mind objectification and drop it, slowly I get into these states (I wouldn't really call them states) where I don't really remember anything, but then I look up at the time and it has been 40-45 minutes when it feels like 10. It is very relaxing and rejuvenating. This is different than dipping into NS for a period. This is the best I can do to explain it.

" Why does there need to be a self to be aware when awareness is already aware?"

Yes, why does there need to be a self - or does there? When you look deep, really look into this question, what assumptions are you automatically making, instinctively including, about the answer? Re-read your own question, "Why does there need to be a self to be aware when awareness is already aware?" You are getting very close to uncovering something. What is it that covers that one last thing up?

Whew. I am supposed to be OK with unknowing right? I almost posted a whole stream of conciousness here but something stopped me. Ponder time.

At this point you are assuming something in the spiritual equation that doesn't belong. That "thing" is hiding something from view. That's what to ponder

I have no idea what it means, but I'm getting goosebumps reading Chris's side of this conversation, and a little bit of vertigo and excitement. It's pretty strange.

"When I do 3rd gear type practices I watch any mind objectification and drop it, slowly I get into these states (I wouldn't really call them states) where I don't really remember anything, but then I look up at the time and it has been 40-45 minutes when it feels like 10. It is very relaxing and rejuvenating. This is different than dipping into NS for a period. This is the best I can do to explain it."

I've never heard anyone else mention this, but I get the same thing fairly often! In this state, I'll sometimes get these slow-motion waves of bliss every so often. I also get a blissful afterglow that can last for up to several hours if I've been in that state for a long time.

"I have no idea what it means, but I'm getting goosebumps reading Chris's side of this conversation, and a little bit of vertigo and excitement. It's pretty strange."

Good stuff Andy. I call those 'mini-Awakenings.' When a teacher does some good pointing like that, I always get those little bliss waves, sometimes they feel like fruitions. Keep pondering/questioning. It means there is something to that pointing!

"Where is awareness, or what is happening before I have a thought about it?" -- Russell

Again, this is a huge hint... what is required for awareness? Why?

Don't think about it.

Just answer.

Nothing.

As for they why. Well because it is already here.

I was just talking with Ron. It was funny because he was pointing to me to the conclusion that there is no answer to the questions. The answer is already here. Why ask? Why seek? Who is asking? Who is seeking? There is nothing to see.

So I was reading last night and stumbled across some passages. Mind you this is from a Fiction book I am reading for fun. So weird how little things fit so well:

"Riddles: they either delight or torment. Their delight lies in solutions. Answers provide bright moments of comprehension perfectly suited for children who still inhabit a world where solutions are readily available. Implicit in the riddle's form is a promise that the rest of the world resolves just as easily. And so riddles comfort the child's mind which spins wildly before the onslaught of so much information and so many subsequent questions.

The adult world, however, produces riddles of a different variety. They do not have answers and are often called enigmas or paradoxes. Still the old hint of the riddle's form corrupts these questions by re-echoing the most fundamental lesson: there must be an answer. From there comes torment."

Later it goes on to say: "Maturity, one discovers, has everything to do with the acceptance of "not knowing." Of course not knowing hardly prevents the approaching chaos."

So are you still seeking? Why?

"There is nothing to see."

Yes, in one sense that's absolutely true. But that's not your present conundrum. You need to be able to see *absolutely everything* that's going on right now and yet something is preventing that from happening.

Sorry, I suspect I'm being a major pain in the ass but I can't help but push it along a little.

"Sorry, I suspect I'm being a major pain in the ass but I can't help but push it along a little.

"

Not a pain at all. I love this stuff.

i.imgur.com/voNLy.png

LOL. Just about spit out my coffee!

This quote and link to the site seems appropiate. I hope it may be of use to you:

"In the story of my life as a person, something always seems to be lacking. This phantom "me" feels separate and incomplete and tries desperately to get somewhere and become somebody. Finally, this "self" may seek enlightenment, striving for its own disappearance. But what exactly is this self? Was it ever here to begin with?

Is there really somebody at the center of this present experiencing Here / Now, somebody who is authoring "my" thoughts, making "my" choices and calling the shots in "my" life, or does every thought, intention, impulse, action and reaction appear here in the same way that the brain, the breath, the wind, the clouds, the trees, and the galaxies appear here?"

www.joantollifson.com/home.html

B.

Nice!

Thanks B.

Testing!! Wow it works.

Hey there!