JYET's practice II

Yesterday sat 3 times . Some dukkha in the first. Got to equanimity in the last.

This morning. 15min samatha got to 4th jhana noted feeling a bit attachment and aversion to only 25% samatha. Missing to get in harder and go in to the arupa ones. But will continue like this and see if i can speed up instead. 45min vipassana noting, First i sighed a lot then it calmed down noted calm and peaceful for a while then started sighing again until it became calm again I dropped the noting and just sat with an open mind. Then something that might have been a mild fruition happened and I became very happy A& P?

Feeling very balanced since and subtle happiness.

You could have a link to the old journal here.

Congrats on path!

Good idea PEJN and thank you Aquanin.

Link to first path thread
kennethfolkdharma.wetpaint.com/thread/49...27s+practice+journal

Just did 15 min Sam. and 45min VIP. Mind pretty scattered throughout. Wanted to go in to stories. Went first to 1-3 Jhana usual speed then I remeebered that I had to speed up because the short time. Thought 4,5,6,7,8 with maybe 20 s in between. Yes the radiosignal is there even though it is weaker when I'm this quick. Hanged out in 8 for 2 min then down 7,6 and the timer went off.

Noting, sighed a lot in the beginning then there was the scattered space where not much change happened for long time. The last 10min I got to equanimity But not so strong.

This morning same length and very similar to yesterdays evening sit. Only got to 6th jhana though.

Will go to my family's vacation home now for 1-2 weeks. No internet there so see you guys in a while.

Metta Erik

Enjoy your vacation, Erik!

I'm Back. To sum up the practice while away. In my noting sessions I seem to have spent a lot of time in 11th nana very easy to sit..

Brought a podcast with me Nicks, Claytons and Owens guide to the 20th strata of mind. Thank you very much guys for this gem.

thehamiltonproject.blogspot.co.uk/2010/09/episode-2.html

An amazing thing happened. The first time I listened to it i was very tired and laid down. I can't say that I was consciously following the tour i was in a semi state between sleeping an meditation half aware. But next time after my 1h noting session i decided to go through the jhanas and after 8th there was 5 more distinct states that somehow felt familiar ended the session feeling very happy. Went through the podcast again later the same day. Now also recognizing the dukkha states and sure enough after 8 there was the pure abodes as described by the more seasoned yogis. I also tried to enter nirodha tuning in and following them but here the luck ended. Had some session when I could feel a powering down. Things becoming quieter and darker but no going under. I believe I crave it too much as it has been the same with calling up fruitons..

Just did a session 15min counting breath then 45min noting where it felt like i was riding the arc. Although I couldn't recognize all nanas. Felt 4th, 5th and 11th then 5th and 6th jhana and then all five pure abodes.

i've also decided to fast. Inspired by my brother's 14day water fast. this is the first day with only water, aiming for at least 7 but if I'm feeling alright i rather do 10. Always been intrigued by fasting and feel that my body could need a cleanse and that this time in my life is a good time to do it with no obligations. Haven't been working now for 1,5 year living of savings. This could go on for quite some time more but felt the pull resonantly to start working or study again. But just a few weeks ago I felt sure I was going to Thailand and Burma this winter. I don't trust the minds whims anymore and take the question what direction should my material life in this world take from here with me in to the fast.

We'll see how much i have the energy to sit through this as fasting is new to me. Yesterday eating only fruit I was completely under. But today strangely lots of energy. Anyway expecting lots of shifts through these days and I will see how much I will report here.

Metta Erik

Haven't been practicing = sitting since last post something that hasn't happened in a long time. The fast was really a journey in it self have gained a lot of insight in to how addicted i am to the comforting factor of food as a distraction from uncomfortable feelings and mind states. To be honest though I have been distracting myself in other ways. Surfing the net far, far too much. Decided to go easy on myself though as this was my first fast and it was quite though. Basically only felt alright first yesterday, day 7.

But I'm breaking it today planning to go really easy and whine myself over one more week in to normal eating. Normal meaning heavier foods, Will without being fanatic abstain from grains and sugar in the future, minimize carb intake. Dairy I think I will start with after this week. Have spent many of the hours online reading about the paleo diet, eating like our ancestors did before agriculture, something that makes a lot of sense to me.

Also feel an urge to become active in the work life again. Will take the first steps this week. Feels good to look forward to being more useful for society.

Ok that enough of diet, fasting and work. My next post will be practice oriented. Just have to sit down on that cushion first.

First sit since break 40min. 10 min counting breath. Very unfocused the first min just came to 3-4 before the mind wandered. It settled towards the end however. 30 min noting out loud. Immediately very spacious feeling in the visual field. Fluttering at the third eye, eyelids happened. Subtle nice happy feeling. Maybe after 20 min I had 1-2 min of nausea and contraction in the gut then it became calm again. Got very surprised when the alarm went off.

Felt nice to sit again. Will go to a meditation group tonight so will log at least one more hour today.

Ih hour sit yesterday evening with the group. Played around and had some fun. First counting breath a while then riding the jhanic arc up to 13th. Forgot dissulution somehow. The way I do it is to cal up the jhanas and nanas tune in to them. It was not very strong states at all. I guess 1 weeks break has imparied the concentration.. But a nice sit that left me in a nice mood to talk, small potluck afterwards. Chatted with a guy who was quite experinced but had never heard of the maps he became super interested. Told him to read MTCB.

Sat this morning 15 min breath count much better concentration than yesterday, nice. 45 min noting started quite blissful noting mostly tingelings vibrations and bodily stuff. At two time energy was drawn up towards the crown and I noted anticipation for fruition. Am a bit frustrated that they haven't happened as strong as when on last retreat and not being able to call them up. In the last 10 min I was bored. But nice to be back sitting again.

Just sat 1h. first 15 min breath counting. As soon as i sat down an upwards flowing energy cursed through the body bringing my attention to the crown where there was super intense electrified tingling. Visual field was more lit up than usual, vibrating. Very hard to focus on the breath because this was so overwhelming. At one point during those 15min it was more centered around the third eye.Felt like being sucked in to it. Also had something that felt similar to 7th jhana for a while and an
inwards, backwards sucking energy. All this was quite blissful. When my 1sec alarm vibrated indicating time for noting my body twitched like if someone had scared me. This might have been a fruition. No big bliss wave though.

Tried to note silent but spaced out immediately so after 5min I switched to loud. Lots of tingling, vibration and pressure in crown and 3 eye. Also experienced pain in a muscle knot between my shoulder's. Got surprised when the alarm went off no twitching though. Funny sit No build up starting with full power energetic stuff that then calmed down more and more

15 min breath counting. Hard to stay focused in the beginning a little bit better towards the end.

45min noting. started loud, all the usual pressure and tingling mostly in head some, pain between my shoulder's, I think the Qi Qong is hitting something as the discomfort is there out of sitting as well. Remember sighing first 5 min then came a subtle heaviness making me calm down continued loud for maybe 20 more min the calmness increased.but slowly. It felt like I was hitting a plateau so went silent, experiment. It helped and I wasn't spacing out. The silent calm increased then slowly all the way to the alarm went. Had one occasion when tingling intensified on crown. Noted craving, anticipation for cessation. I also think there was a few seconds of nasuea in the gut in them middle of the sit. Feel very balanced now afterwards.

Have been a little pattern in the morning and evening sits last few days.

In the morning the breath counting is getting better but get distracted by thoughts especially in the beginning. As soon as i start noting I'm in a calm easy state, not very deep though. This then deepens a little bit over maybe the next 15 min and then I reach a plateau and stays there the rest of the 1 hour sit. It feels comfortable but not very much is happening. Sometimes I get lost in thought for a while but I catch it fairly quickly. Towards the end of the sit there is some boredom, storyline why isn't anything happening?

In the evenings there is lot of energy, strong concentration that just descends on me wheter I'm on the cushion or not it intensifies if i just sit and let things be. Yesterday evening it was among the strongest shakti waves I've had since I left my kundalini Guru. Felt like being on drugs, not so blissful. But strong waves came washing down from the crown and 3 eye directed inwards downwards, backwards. Had a strong sinking sensation and the visual field started to blacken. The mind went oh this is a power-down let go more. Of course that letting go was doing so it stooped. Not even sure it's a power-down.

The other day when on the bus at evening time when energy is strong I recited the pure land mantra. Went straight to the first pure abode and the quick within the 7min ride up to the 5th. When I went off the buss I went in to a strong "witness state"? Felt like I was walking around at a distance from experience feeling very detached. Was proboply walking around in the afterglow of the jhana.

just rode the arc up and down and then up again took about 50min started with 5min breath count. But it's more me calling up the jhanas and nanas than them arising by themselves, even thoughtthat is happening sometimes. Really feel that I would need to speak to a teacher. Thought I had booked a talk with Ron yesterday but when I looked more closely it wasn't until the 1 sep. Well I guess I have to hang in there until then the sitting feels good at least altough I know that is not the ultimate goal. It is nice none the less.

Moving to a new country Norway and start to look for work in one weeks time .

Been busy applying for work and find somewhere to stay in the new town, Stavanger Norway, moving tomorrow. So reporting haven't been my first priority. .have kept up the sitting though some days only one hour but mostly two. Not much change except felt that my concentration was suffering when I was sitting less. Exited to see how it will be to work again after 1,5 years break actually have a strong desire to be useful again and have a routine around work again.

In the morning I count breath for 15 min then note for 45 feeling calmer and calmer progressively going deeper in the 11th nana but continue to hit a plateau. Been trying to let go more there and do silent noting or just let it be but it's easy to space out.

Been having a bit trouble with the arc probably to loss of concentration as mentioned before. Yesterday evening though I had a great session where I first counted for 15 min then took about 40 min to rise to the 13th taking time with every jhana nad nana letting them mature. In some I called the next one up and in others I the next arose by it self. Then I sat for maybe 10min in the 13th and just rested in the unity feeling.

3 sessions yesterday in the first two I willed every jhana and nana from 1-20 took about 40-45 min with 15 min breath count included. in the last one i just sat and as it was in the evening the concentration was strong was defiantly riding the arc took 50 min of just sitting to reach the 5th pure land jhana. But not every stage appeared as clear as when I call them up the dukka nanas and cause and effect and 3 characteristics are always more unclear for some reason. The pure abodes and jhana 4,5,6,7 where very distinct.

living in a real Sh*t hole to apartment with shared bathroom and kitchen. It's the landlord's market here in Stavanger lots of work but few places to stay. Lots of practice of acceptance feel unbelievable ok with it.. Went to job interview yesterday and got promised work in a few days, so now I'm waiting. Also got a nicer cheaper little place to rent from 7/9.

Tonight I'm planning to join a yoga class and attended a local vipassana sitting group. Always nice to meet likeminded people in a new place.

Spoke to Ron last night and it cleared up a lot of confusion on where I'am. Although it's not completely written in stone it looks like the path I got on last retreat was second and not first. There are several indicators of this. First i have access to the 5 suddhavasas and I experience some kind of power-down when I try for nirodha, can't really let go enough for cessation though. The fruitopns on the retreat also felt so g*d da*n familiar. It was like this is certainly something that has happened before. i can't really remember the exact event though although the was periods of my 4,5 year of practice when I was practicing very intensely with an all in attitude. I was pretty out there and not functioning very well in the world actually.

Also the amount of suffering that has left is tremendous it was so even before this last path moment. But now It is like almost all fear has left me and i embrace even more what ever comes my way. Here I'am in a new town, new work and in new social situations and I'm not a outgoing person at all. But all of it is perfectly alright. Felt almost no nervousness when I attended work interviews here my first week. Going through my days in an embracing acceptance. As Ron said I'm experiencing the fruits of my practice. Have a new scheduled talk in about 2 weeks.

When it came to practice things to focus on where, riding the arc through the witness, bring the witness and noting in to out of cushion practices and to keep experimenting with my nirodha attempts .

This morning I first counted breaths for 15 min then rode the arc keeping my attention on the witness spot behind the eyes. It actually went very well. Without forcing, the states arose one after another. It was a little bit foggy around the dukkha nanas and around 5th 6th jhana, didn't get super defined states and the ride took 45min....

I had spent 1 min in the 13th jhana when the alarm vibrated. rode down to 8th and tried for cessation. with the spot on the right side of the back of the head. There is something happening spent 5-7 min there trying. and felt very chilled out afterwards. But there is no cessation that i can recognize and although the visual field gets darker i hear sounds through out.

Been noting sensations today throughout the day. Or maybe noticing is a better word as there is resistance towards verbal noting off cushion. Been feeling somme contraction in the belly while being a bit stressed at work , and lots of tingeling in third eye and crown.

Sit 1 h morning and evening. In the recent evening sit i first counted breath for 15min then tried to stay with the witness but my focus wasn't strong enough lost track in stories, and started noting out loud, after maybe 15 min I was in a calm restful space where the noting dropped off of it self. Was there for some time while different states came and went. Lots of energy in crown and third eye. it feels like i get taken for a ride and I can just sit back and let things unfold. Even though that wasn't completly true in the beginng of this session. But it is an overall feeling. Spaced out several times again in the rest of the sit but it was easier to come back and just rest in what was happening than in the beginning of the session. Felt very happy towards rhw end and sent metta to friends and family and the world.

have been experiencing fogginess and heaviness in head and chest today. It's like a thick tingeling energy is disturbing clearness of mind. Not to bad though but there was suffering in this. not walking around in niceness and bliss like it has been mostly recently. Good to practice acceptance with the more yucky stuff as well.

Today I've practiced none manipulation in my two sittings. in the first I counted breath for 15 min then just rested in what ever came for 45 min. In the second I listened to a 11 min talk by Robert Adams where he asks his listeners what there is "prior to consciousness". this talk always "draws me in " a "direct pointing" to something beyond. Then rested for the remanning hour. Both sits where very peaceful with states and deepening's coming and going. There where thoughts but they weren't very persistent and easy to let go of. Rested without them for longer than usual gaps.

When it comes to to Robert Adams he was part of my practice for a long time before. he was my lazy man*s meditation. Would listen to him commuting to/from work and when I was on my 1 year travel often laying down on the bed. Have been picking up his satsangs recently again and noticed a difference in how the talks affect me since recent path. Before i used to get very heavy in the head and become very lazy, hard to move. Might have been that he pulled me in to dissolution. But now i come to a very calm, clear state of mind with subtle bliss. Maybe it's in the direction of 3 gear? Time will tell.

morning sit. counted with bader than usual concentration for 15 min. Then just sat. Got pretty still and feeling very restful culminating in the third quarter. In the last quarter there suddenly arose a lot of eye fluttter and flashes of light while i was drawn inwards. Noted anticipation for cessation, maybe one happened because was feeling sensations, and phenomena resembling the piti rush of the first jhana afterwards.

When the alarm went off at one hour I gave myself a sunday treat and rode the jhanas 1-13 quickly up and then tried for cessation pressuring on the sweet spot I belivive I was close. But can't say with confidence that i went under. Want the heavy konk outs from recent retreat argh frustration ha ha

"Want the heavy konk outs from recent retreat argh frustration ha ha"

Dont get trapped there. That desire can really mess you up. Note it and the frustration and move on.