MuMuWu's Practice Journal

"At around 2:00 I experienced several hard stops after spending about an hour or so in Equanimity (and reflecting on Tommy's advice to Yadid). I was really observing the sensations associated with looking, selfing, etc. The stops lead to blissful feelings arising along with very pleasant warmth (these took a little bit of time to really develop) and a narrowing of focus. I seem to be now going through the dukkha nanas again but in a very attenuated form.

!!"

Great stuff, Jayson

In my current experience, lets say I wake up, meditate for an hour.
Usually Eq doesnt appear then.
Today for example it showed up on my 3rd sit (spaciousness, vastness, freedom-ness . Then after a while it rolled back into Dukkha.

Yadid,

Could you talk about the transition from equanimity to Dukkha? Are you experiencing any sort of development of equanimity (does it change over time in any way)?

I did some very nice metta meditation today based on Kenneth's talk on noting and compassion. I was aware of a pulse in the body so I thought about how nice it would be to have icecream. I only did this for a second and then switch my focus to the feeling of happiness that arose and held my attention there. This was extremely pleasant and after 4 minutes or so I switched to contemplating how nice it would be for everyone in the office to have icecream. I felt even happier and maintained this for another 4 minutes. I then thought of a video I watched recently of a dog that was chained up for ten years and held the feelings that arose. Lastly I thought about how it felt to see the dog released and cared for and how happy the dog was.

After this the mind felt very strong. I thought of Zen for some reason and how I used to work with the mind when I was quite interested in Zen practice. I began to drop any thoughts that arose as well as any movement of the mind to one particular thing or another (allowing it to settle and compose itself). Very quickly my mind got very expansive and knowing was occurring without any grasping and there was much stillness. Also there arose some pleasant pressure in the head and body (mainly in the head).

I think I may have a had a fruition a short while ago as well (sudden awareness of an indescribable something/increase in energetic phenomenon/mind reboot, bliss etc.)...\

edit: Man do I feel blissed out in some strange way right now... Glad to be gaining some new momentum. I knew things would improve with the weather

"Yadid,

Could you talk about the transition from equanimity to Dukkha? Are you experiencing any sort of development of equanimity (does it change over time in any way)?"

Hey Jayson, good question.

It seems to be that Dukkha nyanas are quite vibrational in quality, body-wise.
Equanimity seems to be more mental and formless, a feeling that the mind expands and encompasses, while the body vibrations seem to quiet down and the body feels transparent.
But Dukkha nyanas do seem to share an aspect with equanimity, which is the panoramic mindfulness, which seems to develop while in the Dukkha nyanas.

The transition down from Equanimity into Dukkha seems to occur when after I passed through Dukkha initially, the vibrations quiet down, the mind expands, body becomes more transparent, a sense of peace, the mental formations are seen more and more clearly, sense of self becomes slippery.

Then, the transition back down is not so clear, but suddenly I find the vibratory sense of body back and irritation and hard time sitting still comes back.
This does not always happen during sitting, actually, usually at the end of the sitting, what I think is the 11th nyana remains.

Just today I noticed the slipping back, while sitting.

Makes sense?

Just wondering if it's possible that you are doing an equanimity -> fruition - > quick a&p / dissolution -> DN sort of loop.

Not sure what happened earlier but I feel very happy. I seem to be experiencing some negativity (tension/aching/harshness) in cycles in the body yet the mind is not really latching onto it or making a big deal out of it. I am noticing an openness to my experience and a lightness that I don't think I've experienced before, or if so, for a much briefer period of time. I think I'm cycling (like a review phase) but I don't feel caught up in it at all.

I feel so happy

Hey Mu,
Where are you these days in terms of path?

Assuming third as I've been experiencing jhanas 9-13 for a long time now.

There's a lot of negativity in the body today. Lots of tension and aches moving around. I feel strangely ok with it on some level.

Great Adyashanti talk

I seem to be going through short periods similar to the Dukkha nanas but there's a lack of being overwhelmed by it in any way. The tensions, occasional queasiness etc. are sort of building and then fading without seeing it as a major concern or really getting tied up in it. I feel different and unusually good in spite of whatever seems to be happening. Like I'm in the eye of a storm.

Wonderful change persisting. Lack of tenstion/still point in the midst of everything. Feel so awake.

Feels good doesn't it.....Ha! Nice one mate, heavy chuffed for you : )

Thanks Tommy. There's been so much negativity bubbling up the last couple of days. Lots of emotional stuff - which hadn't been much of an issue for some time now.

I can't reply to messages while I'm in work, the screen goes mental so I'll mail you back tonight.

How you bearing up anyway?

I'm doing fine now. Strange night last night. When I went to bed after sitting for a half hour, in which I experienced some odd energy stuff, my mind would not go to sleep. I was up lying in bed until maybe 5 am. It wasn't that my mind was entertaining thoughts, it just wouldn't get sleepy.

"...I'm defining rigpa as consciousness without dualistic thought"
kennethfolkdharma.wetpaint.com/page/Q+%26+A+on+the+Non-dual

Shunryu Suzuki's Zen mind beginner's mind - Audiobook available as a playlist on youtube.

Cool!

Since Thursday's shift, my ability to surrender seems really ramped up. Really enjoying exploring 3rd gear again (as per the definition I posted earlier today).

Seems like dwelling in it leads to a build up of energy eventually culminating in a fruition...

Interesting changes you have been reporting lately, Jayson. Keep us posted! Any feelings of being done, by any chance?

Indeed. At least for now.

This made me laugh:

i.imgur.com/moapE.gif

"Indeed. At least for now."

ooh, another one bites the dust?

HA! The 4 Frames Of Enlightenment.

Catching up on your last posts. Way to go Mu!