General Practice Updates

Yes, I think that is actually a very good lesson that that sort of experience teaches. Rather than coming away from a sit like that saying, 'Holy shit, I must be some kind of yogi! I've found a conduit to pure happiness!', what that sensation really demonstrated for me is the anatta of even the most basic (and desirable mental states); a) I had achieved enough clarity of mind, and b) the emotions I was feeling were so disconnected from any external or mental circumstance, that I felt very much unattached to them, pleasant and conventionally desirable as they were. I still don't really know _why_ some serotonin (Best guess, anyway) valve suddenly popped wide open in my brain, but ultimately I'm not as interested in the why of that particular neurotransmitter flood, as much as the fact of, 'Dang, will you look at all the silly stuff that our physiology gets up to, that we think passes for self!'

En passant: I have seen, in a couple small places, people for whom the end-all and be-all of meditation seems to be learning how to reliably push the pleasure buttons in the brain. And that seems like such a weird use of one's time to me.

The brain's response to that is generally to start coming up with its own stimuli

-jake

That actually reminds me, I did experience some visual (in a mind's eye, sense) hallucination as well. Red circular phenomena: one, a sort of tunnel, extending itself into the distance, and the other, the kind of classic demon's head: red skin, two horns on the top. Funny stuff.

hahaha and consider that perhaps the body sensations themselves were hallucinations, as well. After all, the texture of your flesh and shape of your head weren't actually changing, right?

Reading up on them, it certainly seems possible. I'll say for sure that there was directed thought, and probably some discursive thinking, but all my verbal/conscious thinking was leavened with this lovely playfulness—a complete lack of aversion or craving.

As I recall, I was just doing the standard residing in various places in the body. Face, behind the eyes, in the chest. Nothing out of the ordinary—indeed that part of it didn't even feel particularly successful or focused.

I was listening to ajahn sucitto earlier today delineate the concept of mind consciousness, and lying in bed doing some meditation it was fascinating to see it at work; to loosen the coupling just a little bit between the step of thought formation and the step of becoming and attachment, and instead to just observe the multitude of disconnected dreamlike thoughts that popped up. Memories of things that hadn't happened. Just the citta mind, churning away, but this time not really given much credence, and instead just noted before returning to the breath.

Not strictly meditation related, but I just turned down a job that would have been nearly twice my current salary, because ultimately I think it would have negatively impacted my peace of mind, and I was allowing myself to ignore that fact because of my desire for more money (which would be nice but is not my #1 necessity right now). I'm not 100% sure it was the right decision, but I'm pretty sure it was. And I don't think I would have made it if I were the person I was a year ago.

What is a "lucid dream?"

Is it a dream in which you are aware that you are having a dream?

Basically, yes. At one time I was having a lot of them and I started experimenting to test the limits of the lucidity; upon becoming lucid I'd ask myself questions, try to remember my phone number, my current address, my full name, stuff like that. I would have the most surreal experience with the address question, wondering which house I lived at: was I twenty-whatever, living at such and such; or was I eighteen, living at that house; and would end up cracking up, since I could tell this wasn't normal waking logic, but still couldn't generate those processes (linear time, fixed identity, etc.).

So for me it would feel quite lucid in that i could describe my situation accurately to myself as being dreaming, but when I would test it this way, it was obvious I couldn't generate "normal" logic, which would crack me up since I definitely "felt" lucid. But maybe others had more access to normal cognitive processes in their lucid dreams?

P.S. @ Chris-- funny serendipity, I was just talking to a friend yesterday and we both had the experience of not having had much dream activity for the past several months and suddenly were having vivid dreams the past few nights.

Lucid dreams are a strange thing. I don't find that the content is generally more meaningful just because the dream is lucid. That is, I can have inane random data-spew dreams whether lucid or not, or I can have a meaningful-seeming dream, lucid or not. I don't have enough control in lucid dreams to direct the storyline very much, that I recall. I recall one where I realized I was dreaming that I had woken up and was getting ready for work, but actually was still in bed, so in the lucid dream I slapped my sleeping face to wake myself up... one loses track of who is who at that point.

I think dreams and visions are not far apart, either - visions for me are just watching the image stream while not asleep (in some level of trance). Those tend to be meaningful, perhaps because they tend to be more intentional or arise out of specific contexts in meditation, etc.

Seems a bit of a continuum maybe? ...daydreaming...visions...lucid dreams...full dreaming...

Seems like it might be anyway.

I just had a wicked bad nightmare last night :/ I've actually been wondering recently about dharmic approaches to dreams, because I've been having a lot of nightmares. I have no interest in lucid dreaming. I just am tired of the bad ones.

I had one last night in which I was part of a board deciding to make cuts in teacher's salaries, and when one of the teachers found out, he came out of his house and sent a spell to strangle me.

In terms of working with them, in general, if you are having a lot of nightmares and are a meditator, I'd sit, recall the scary scenarios, and sit with the fear. Won't kill ya. It's hard to stick it out in a dream because you tend to wake yourself up to escape. Can be interesting to push through the scenario while awake, and see where it goes. When I've done that it usually resolved in an outpouring of grief or release of physical tension/energy. When you get to the really scary parts you can just keep reminding yourself: "it's just images/thoughts/sensations arising by themselves, arising and passing away, the mind at play" Note the physical sensations too- tension, twitching, desire to run, heart pounding, arms clenched, etc. That helped me through many scary bits.

Whatever scary it becomes, do your best not to shut it down, just keep looking at it and being with it, let it get as bad as it needs to.

Sitting and recalling is very good advice. Just doing that will often lead one's thoughts down a path and then the meaningfulness (or garbageness) tends to resolve. It's funny how it's hard to tell the potency of the dream just on its surface... I'm surprised when garbage dreams reveal some big truths.

I'm a little jealous of folks that dream a lot. I rarely can recall dreams, maybe 5 or 10 a year. As a result, I feel obligated to milk each one for what it hints at, hence using that sitting and recalling approach.

If my wife or my best friend from college did that (both active dreamers) they wouldn't have anytime left to do anything else with their life!

Sounds like I'm more like Chris. I'm not sure I want to change it although I wonder if pursuing more dream work would be worth it? I tend to get poor rest if I do much dreamwork.

I seem to have spates of dreaming and periods where I don't dream memorably. I seem to recall dreams most if I am dozing, such as sleeping on the commuter train, where I partially wake up at each stop or when the conductor comes by, etc. Or when taking a short nap. Or if I wake up in the pre-dawn and then go back to sleep for an hour. Maybe because the sleep is lighter?

The advantage of doing vision work instead is you don't forget the "dreams" because you stay awake during the stream of imagery. (Doesn't have to be a weird activity - just settle into a meditative, relaxed state (if you don't do "trance", meditate for some minutes until you settle into quiet mind) - then pick a starter image of whatever you want to find out more about, whether an image from a recent dream or bothersome memory, or a tarot card, or a symbol, hold it in your mind's eye and imagine slowly sinking or falling, and then let whatever associated images and thoughts bubble up. Don't edit or analyze - just let it run, even if "garbage" seems to come up (as you said, garbage can turn out to be quite significant). Say outloud what you see and think, to help remember it. If the stream of images dries up, restart with the original trigger image. I often use a recording device so I don't have to interrupt myself to take written notes. It's fun!

There are two sources I've encountered, that have quelled my regret that I seem to have no aptitude for deliberate 'dream practice'. One is Tenzin Wangyal's book on Dream Yoga, and a sort of offhand remark to the effect that writing down what one CAN remember of dreams is a step of respect for one's possibility-- however latent it may be. Another was a cool book called The Head Trip, by Jeff Warren. It recounts the author's quest to understand what 'mind' is, by personal research into various states of mind, backed by comprehensive citations of studies made by scientists. His writing style is very accessible; as I recall, he develops a kind of continuum concept-- something like the yoga notion of 4 'kinds' of mind, but with a greater sense of the fluid 'boundaries' between them.

Hmmm, that sounds like a neat book Kate! Thom, the previous head of the Transpersonal Psych department at my school, only teaches a few classes now-- apparently he started an organization called "magicians without borders" and travels a lot throughout the third world nowadays.

Anyways, he seems like a pretty amazing Jungian fellow from the single brief encounter I've had with him-- a real magician, in every sense of the word-- and he leads a five day dream retreat in the summer at his house in the country. I'll be attending (it's at the end of July) and am pretty excited. One of my classmates has virtually no dream recall at all (I think he'd remembered three or four throughout his life) and took a weekend workshop with Thom last fall. My friend complained that he never remembered any dreams, so what was he to write in his dream journal upon waking (one of the assignments)? Thom told him to look for anything... even a wisp of a feeling or mood, in the first moments of waking up. Write that down, he said. Treat it like a thread leading into the dark earth-- but don't tug it, just hold it gently and see what happens.

Well, my friend tried it--- and sure enough, as he sat with that wisp of a feeling the next morning, more began to emerge: the memory of a dream burst through like a treasure attached to that string he had been gently holding. Thus began a series of vivid dream filled nights-- the first such event in his life!

Needless to say I'm looking forward to the experience; I'll be sure to give a full report

Can't hardly wait for reports!

'Magicians without borders' had me pretty intrigued for a minute there. Then I saw it's the hats and rabbits kind.

The dream work exercise sounds interesting though, looking forward to hearing more, Jake.

Yeah, hats and rabbits! But that's just a front. Thom's the real deal. He's about the most magic person I've met in a decade or three, and I've only been around him for a few hours.

God, Chris-- brilliant!