Rod's Practice Log
12 years 7 months ago #91980
by Rod1
Replied by Rod1 on topic RE: Rod's Practice Log
Update 21/01/13
Interesting times. Whilst adjusting back to the usually hectic work life I have, my practice is not as regimented as I would prefer but I think its positive. I am doing a lot more mindfulness activities - started today consciously reminding myself of HAIETMOBA whilst at work to try and come back to noting when I get lost in the work. Interestingly, I have found alot more contemplation off cushion going on and am aware that something is moving/changing. I feel a detached awareness growing in my perspective in daily life and today the whole day had a melancholy flavour to it but without the usual craving for something missed normally associated with such feelings. This is notable because I am normally a happy person, contented and well grounded and something has to be very hopeless for me to feel such sadness. I have watched it all day and I don't see it as bad - I don't feel so connected to it. Strange. So this I presume is somewhere on the path of insight. I am pretty sure am pre-A&P as I cannot remember any particularly wild event that resembles common descriptions of it. But I am not worrying too much about it - things will unfold when they are ready. I have had a couple of really deep meditations - doing Jhana till I get to a really stable and serene state then start trying to find 'I' and breakdown the sensations I am sensing. Breath focusing as default, noting sensations and where I can, trying to analyse the process of sensing and look for I in the same process if I can. Other noted feelings - I have had a growing desire to just go and get peace and quiet - leave everything (I won't do this of course) but much less tolerance for noise and complexity. Its as if I am driving me rather than me if that makes sense. THere is also a subtle sense of excitement off the cushion - not sure if this is contrived or natural but its subtle and not unpleasant - just aware of it.
Interesting times. Whilst adjusting back to the usually hectic work life I have, my practice is not as regimented as I would prefer but I think its positive. I am doing a lot more mindfulness activities - started today consciously reminding myself of HAIETMOBA whilst at work to try and come back to noting when I get lost in the work. Interestingly, I have found alot more contemplation off cushion going on and am aware that something is moving/changing. I feel a detached awareness growing in my perspective in daily life and today the whole day had a melancholy flavour to it but without the usual craving for something missed normally associated with such feelings. This is notable because I am normally a happy person, contented and well grounded and something has to be very hopeless for me to feel such sadness. I have watched it all day and I don't see it as bad - I don't feel so connected to it. Strange. So this I presume is somewhere on the path of insight. I am pretty sure am pre-A&P as I cannot remember any particularly wild event that resembles common descriptions of it. But I am not worrying too much about it - things will unfold when they are ready. I have had a couple of really deep meditations - doing Jhana till I get to a really stable and serene state then start trying to find 'I' and breakdown the sensations I am sensing. Breath focusing as default, noting sensations and where I can, trying to analyse the process of sensing and look for I in the same process if I can. Other noted feelings - I have had a growing desire to just go and get peace and quiet - leave everything (I won't do this of course) but much less tolerance for noise and complexity. Its as if I am driving me rather than me if that makes sense. THere is also a subtle sense of excitement off the cushion - not sure if this is contrived or natural but its subtle and not unpleasant - just aware of it.