MuMuWu's Practice Journal

"Many people have misunderstood this point, believing that the Buddha's teachings on non-attachment require that one relinquish one's attachment to the path of practice as quickly as possible. Actually, to make a show of abandoning the path before it is fully developed is to abort the entire practice. As one teacher has put it, a person climbing up to a roof by means of a ladder can let go of the ladder only when safely on the roof. In terms of the famous raft simile [§§113-114], one abandons the raft only after crossing the flood. If one were to abandon it in mid-flood, to make a show of going spontaneously with the flow of the flood's many currents, one could drown."

www.accesstoinsight.org/lib/authors/thanissaro/wings/part1.html

"Bhante Gunaratana on the Upanisa Sutta (A 11), the holistic approach to supporting meditative development through cultivating virtue. See www.accesstoinsight.org/lib/authors/bodhi/wheel277.html "

Upanisa Sutta: www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka/sn/sn12/sn12.023.than.html

As per Bante G's talk, I've really been working on desire, action, and things like that as of late. As a result it is getting much easier to get into concentration states and the mind is much calmer and clearer. So much rapture and happiness as of late, without effort. FTW!

Had a very intense headache last night. Perhaps the worst one I can remember. In any case, I decided I would go without pain medicine as long as I could. I decided to lie down and explore the pain. I put my attention right into it, to where it hurt the most and then allowed it to be there. I then included the rest of my body along with it and began to do anapanasati. Within about a minute or so, I was getting piti/sukkha which quickly drowned out the pain entirely. I continued to do this until I found myself waking up on the couch much later.

The pain was gone but returned a short while after getting up, I repeated the process again with the same results.

!!

"[1] Breathing in long, he discerns, 'I am breathing in long'; or breathing out long, he discerns, 'I am breathing out long.' [2] Or breathing in short, he discerns, 'I am breathing in short'; or breathing out short, he discerns, 'I am breathing out short.' [3] He trains himself, 'I will breathe in sensitive to the entire body.'[2] He trains himself, 'I will breathe out sensitive to the entire body.' [4] He trains himself, 'I will breathe in calming bodily fabrication.'[3] He trains himself, 'I will breathe out calming bodily fabrication.'

"[5] He trains himself, 'I will breathe in sensitive to rapture.' He trains himself, 'I will breathe out sensitive to rapture.' [6] He trains himself, 'I will breathe in sensitive to pleasure.' He trains himself, 'I will breathe out sensitive to pleasure.' [7] He trains himself, 'I will breathe in sensitive to mental fabrication.'[4] He trains himself, 'I will breathe out sensitive to mental fabrication.' [8] He trains himself, 'I will breathe in calming mental fabrication.' He trains himself, 'I will breathe out calming mental fabrication.'"

www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka/mn/mn.118.than.html

"Very good, venerable sir." And, delighting in and approving of Ven. Kamabhu's answer, Citta asked him a further question: "But what are bodily-fabrications? What are verbal fabrications? What are mental fabrications?"

"In-&-out breaths are bodily fabrications. Directed thought & evaluation are verbal fabrications. Perceptions & feelings are mental fabrications."

www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka/sn/sn41/sn41.006.than.html

what-buddha-taught.net/Books/Ajahn_Chah_...g_the_Heart_Good.htm

"Only three lines, hardly anything to it: Sabba papassa akaranam: refraining from all wrong doing. That's the teaching of all Buddhas. This is the heart of Buddhism. But people keep jumping over it, they don't want this one. The renunciation of all wrongdoing, great and small, from bodily, verbal and mental actions... this is the teaching of the Buddhas."

"Let's bring it home. What is happening in this moment, in this mind and especially in this body? I say "especially" because this body does not lie; while the mind can spin endless loops, the body will always give you the straight scoop. When you feel the body, all at once, as you read this or as you compose your reply, what is going on? We are not doing this practice in order to have good ideas or to be right or clever, witty or bright. Are we? Why are we doing this practice? This is something for each of us to reflect upon.

If there is value to the practice that brings us together on this forum, it must lie beyond the momentary satisfaction of a witty rejoinder or the feeling of having been validated by others. It's possible to be complete in this moment, deliciously full of life, full of pain and of beauty. Anyone can feel this for at least a moment. When it becomes your default state, we say you are enlightened. The fact that it is possible, the fact that we come together to share the practices that lead to it... this is pragmatic dharma. Everything we do here, ideally, is dedicated to this waking up and to helping others awaken.

Do it now. Feel the body, all at once. Notice how dynamic it is, how rich. Feel how it flows. This is your life. You have no other. Do you want to help others, make a difference in the world, learn how to listen and to be kind, truly understand what is going on from one moment to the next? The best way to do that is to wake up. Wake up now.

It isn't hard. It just takes commitment. What is happening now in your body and in your mind? You can do this. If you will stay continuously in your body, watching how it interacts with your mind, you will wake up. But if you wake up, as Adyashanti once said, "be prepared to wake up in an insane asylum." After the initial shock, you can get busy helping the other inmates to wake up too."

- Kenneth Folk

"May I be correct in interpreting what you are saying here - that one's practice should be a balance of awareness of body and of mind? Not to put one's attention too strongly on either side so to speak?" -Yadid

"Yes, that is what I'm saying. We need to make the body and mind transparent in realtime, and that includes the whole package of what in Buddhism are listed as the six sense doors: seeing, hearing, tasting, touching, smelling, and thinking. Interesting that thinking is not held apart from the "five senses" of western thought or given any special status; thinking is just another sensory input. Suffering is caused when we lose touch with the raw data and create compounds like self and the "afflictive" emotions, which we then climb into and try to live in. This is what I mean by the proxy life. By paying attention to the raw data, always taking refuge in the body to take advantage of its grounding quality, we deconstruct the compounds and live each moment as it is. While the proxy life is suffering, the uncompounded reality is selfless. When there is no one to suffer, there is no suffering.

And life goes on. Relationships go on; in fact, they get better. Loved ones still matter. And when you are not having to constantly defend yourself from perceived attacks, you can be more attentive to your loved ones as they go through their own difficult times. This in turn makes them feel safer and more-loved.

The body is emphasized as the 1st foundation of mindfulness because the body doesn't lie. It's just as it is, in this moment. So, the body is the place to begin a meditation practice, it's the place to live all along the way, and it's where you live after awakening."
- Kenneth Folk

Switching things up again - in the spirit of KFD and inspired by Kenneth, Antero (latest writings), Nadav (his conversations with Kenneth on self-inquiry type practice), Villum (noticing awareness to disembed) and Nick (we talked of comparing/contrasting unfabricated awareness against my mindfulness of the body practice), I began combining some second and third gear practices.

First I ask "where am I in this picture" or "who am I" (the second more so out of habit). I continue to do this until I am clearly just seeing tensions and things arising. At some point the question itself seems strange. Thought is seen to be the one asking the question.

From here I ask "how do I know I'm having an experience." The answer is simply the experience being present. This seems to be the equivalent of noticing you are aware/having an experience. From here, thoughts/emotions are seen to simply be an arising in the total experience.

This eventually gets very stable.

It lead to a very vivid lucid dream last night.

A couple of book recommendations from Kenneth.

The Origin of Consciousness in the Breakdown of the Bicameral Mind - Julian Jaynes
www.amazon.ca/Origin-Consciousness-Break...l-Mind/dp/0618057072

Incomplete Nature - Terrence W Deacon
www.amazon.ca/Incomplete-Nature-Terrence...id=1330544608&sr=1-1

Wow, Jayson. Didn't understand the way you combined the two questions at first. Seems like a rocking practice so far.
Edit: As usual with this sort of thing, reading Tilopa's Mahamudra Instruction to Naropa while doing it seems a good idea

Villum,

Another one to add:
"Who is doing this?" "Where is the doer?"

Also:
Been having fun considering this:
www.gnosis.org/library/7Sermons_hoeller_trans.htm

in light of these: www.dharmaoverground.org/web/guest/discu...oards/message/956281 , www.dharmaoverground.org/web/guest/discu...ards/message/2282990

"The Nothing, or fullness, is called by us the PLEROMA. In it thinking and being cease, because the eternal is without qualities. In it there is no one, for if anyone were, he would be differentiated from the Pleroma and would possess qualities which would distinguish him from the Pleroma.
In the Pleroma there is nothing and everything: it is not profitable to think about the Pleroma, for to do that would mean one's dissolution.
The CREATED WORLD is not in the Pleroma, but in itself. The Pleroma is the beginning and end of the created world. The Pleroma penetrates the created world as the sunlight penetrates the air everywhere. Although the Pleroma penetrates it completely, the created world has no part of it, just as an utterly transparent body does not become either dark or light in color as the result of the passage of light through it. We ourselves, however, are the Pleroma, so it is that the Pleroma is present within us. Even in the smallest point the Pleroma is present without any bounds, eternally and completely, for small and great are the qualities which are alien to the Pleroma. The Pleroma is the nothingness which is everywhere complete and without end. It is because of this that I speak of the created world as a portion of the Pleroma, but only in an allegorical sense; for the Pleroma is not divided into portions, for it is nothingness. We, also, are the total Pleroma; for figuratively the Pleroma is an exceedingly small, hypothetical, even non-existent point within us, and also it is the limitless firmament of the cosmos about us. Why, however, do we discourse about the Pleroma, if it is the all, and also nothing?"

Interesting Videos from Stephen Wolinsky - Beyond Consciousness

NOTHING IS BREATHING
(Nisargadatta Maharaj's, 'Focus on
that which animates the breathing apparatus.')

EXERCISE #9
1) Feel your breath.
2) Rather than 'you' breathing, 'notice' that 'you'
are being breathed.

stephenhwolinskyphdlibrary.com/downloads/You%20Are%20Not.pdf

Once I stabilize in consciousness, seeing everything as a play of my own mind, something else seems to come into view. It seems to be prior to consciousness. It is like a big uniform emptiness. A self aware void, on which the bubble of consciousness seems to float. Staying with that, the waking state becomes more dreamlike and seems to lose it's solidity. Tensions, thoughts, etc. just seem mirage-like and unproblematic.

Nisargadatta Maharaj:

'Stay in the consciousness as a portal to the Absolute, be the consciousness as a portal to the Absolute ... the Absolute is prior to consciousness.'

Stephen Wolinsky:
"Discard all as not this not this (neti-neti), Be the consciousness, as the portal to the Absolute. All layers or veils are consciousness to be discarded, The I Am and the sense of beingness is a temporary state, Prior to them is the consciousness also called the Self of All"

And, importantly I think, is the fact that both the arising mind and that which seems to lie below it, are of the same nature, and not actually separate. Like two sides of one coin.

Rereading some older stuff on the forum seems to indicate to me - as well as Kenneth having pointed this out to me before, that this is "the simplest thing" which used to be talked about quite a bit.

In any case, dwelling in it seems to undo any arising tensions and leads to a stillness of the mind and a sense in peace and serenity which are effortless.

Also, abiding this way prior to bed last night lead to something quite neat - which has occurred previously when playing with this stuff. While asleep, I became aware that I was asleep, and felt as if there was a barrier above me. I pushed through this barrier, it had a certain weight to it, and it reminded me of breaking through a ceiling, or ice.

Ok.

So dwelling on what has recently been being discussed on Justin's journal and some Nisargadatta stuff I've been contemplating (you are prior to consciousness) led to the most extraordinary lucid dream I've experienced yet.

What I've been doing is noticing that I am aware/conscious. I spend some time letting that stabilize - noticing that everything I am experiencing is an appearance within consciousness. This, not the witness, equates (at least to me) with Nisargadatta's I AM. He says this is the consciousness dependent on the food body, that which arose on what you were prior to birth and announced that you are.

Nisargadatta Maharaj:

"You must come to a firm decision. You must forget the thought that you are the body and be only the knowledge '˜I am', which has no form, no name. Just be. When you stabilize in that beingness it will give all the knowledge and all the secrets to you, and when the secrets are given to you, you transcend the beingness, and you, the Absolute will know that you are also not the consciousness. Having gained all this knowledge, having understood what is what, a kind of quietude prevails, a tranquility. Beingness is transcended, but beingness is available"

"On my true, whole, homogeneous state just a small ripple appeared, the news came, "I Am." That news made all the difference, and I started knowing this; but now I have known my true state, so I understand my true state first, and then I understand that this ripple is coming and going on my true state. While, in your case, you take interest in the ripple and don't take interest in your true state"

I emerged into an extremely vivid experience of floating in the ocean near a rocky shore. There were sea-birds (gulls mainly) flying about and squaking. I knew I was dreaming and that I had intentionally moved into this dream. I could detect when it started to unfocus and relax and continue the dream. I experimented with the dream. I attempted flying out of the water, which threatened to end it, so I stopped. But mainly I studied it to see if I could find something "unreal" about it, especially in the physics of the waves. It struck me as absolutely incredible that the wave forms interacted with eachother in a perfectly real way. Water would splash into my face and moving my head below the water and above it was perfectly realistic. The waves themselves were incredibly organic and lifelike, showing nothing that would indicate any sort of simulation or approximation of reality - it was real for all intents and purposes. At some point the dream began to unfocus and collapse and I don't recall much after that.

I also recall waking up around 4 AM, and just prior to opening my eyes and being in my room, I saw my friend's grandmother who had just died. Again, very vivid, but she seemed semi-decayed. It left me a bit creeped out and I stayed awake for a while afterwards.

Fun!

"As the consciousness stills and fades, the subtle screen of consciousness appears as a Void or Emptiness. This emptiness or void is 'perceived' or 'witnessed' as a substance or a thing. At first glance the Void is imagined to be the Absolute, which it is not. The consciousness now appears like a sun in the middle of this empty void. Like a sun in the middle of the emptiness, the consciousness shines. And there, within the distant consciousness sun,The unperceivable universe appears made metaphorically of the rays of the consciousness sun. The sun, consciousness, bubble universe, appears on the Emptiness or Void.

The world universe peopled with gods and levels appears to emerge. As the emptiness the worlds are no longer visible, only the consciousness appearing like a sun is witnessed, through the Awareness aspect of the Supreme Witness.

The consciousness is actually an appearance perceived and maintained by the illusion that the Emptiness-Void is made of a different substance from the consciousness-sun. The two are one and the same.

Emptiness, consciousness and void are synonyms.

Buddhism, The Heart Sutra:
Form is emptiness, emptiness is form. So too consciousness is emptiness, Emptiness is consciousness, Therefore, neither is.

Kashmir Shaivism, The Shiva Sutras: 'The entire universe appears as a form of consciousness.'

Consciousness is emptiness.
Emptiness is consciousness.
Consciousness is condensed emptiness.
They are one and the same."

"The appearance of the void is still an appearance on
the Absolute.
The appearance of the emptiness is still an appearance
on the Absolute."

Stephen Wolinsky - Rays of the Absolute

"Also, abiding this way prior to bed last night lead to something quite neat - which has occurred previously when playing with this stuff. While asleep, I became aware that I was asleep..."

Neat experiences, MuMuWu. I have had rare intermittent experiences of dozing off and dreaming while remaining aware in the past. But lately it seems to be more and more common that when I sleep for short periods (such as a nap) I am aware throughout the nap. When sleeping at night I tend to go completely to sleep, though i often become aware or remain aware during the falling asleep and waking up periods. It's kind of odd but interesting.

"A couple of book recommendations from Kenneth.

The Origin of Consciousness in the Breakdown of the Bicameral Mind - Julian Jaynes
www.amazon.ca/Origin-Consciousness-Break...l-Mind/dp/0618057072

Incomplete Nature - Terrence W Deacon
www.amazon.ca/Incomplete-Nature-Terrence...id=1330544608&sr=1-1
"

I read the Origins of Consciousness in the Breakdown of the Bicameral Mind as a teenager, around the same time I was becoming a book Buddhist. Its description of the ego as a linguistic analog was so clear and persuasive it scared the heck out of me. It was the first time I began to have a sense of what emptiness and no-self might mean.

Beckett's The Unnameable had a similar effect on me, around the same time - although it's obviously very different.

Very interesting. I seem unable to pull this off or objectify this layer you are talking about. I can go from a Witness perspective to a place where the mental activity associated with perspective is also seen, so there is just experience. I can't even say there is a sense of "arising" phenomena. The whole thing is quite slippery and unwilling to allow a concept about it. However, it sounds like you are pointing to something deeper than this experience. Any hints?

How do you know you are having an experience? Because of the presence of an experience right?

Now put a mental hand through some solid object in this experience (say a wall, or the floor or something).

Contrast the two - the waking experience coming through the sense doors / the emptiness beyond.

See them as made of the same thing (like one foot in and out of the world together).

Or taking the whole experience as a single thing (mind or consciousness) sweep a mental laser beam (like an MRI) through it. Notice any solid tensions it encounters cannot impede it.

Try going outside for a walk. Feel the inside of houses, feel down through the ground, feel out past the sky, etc.

Hope this helps.

"I read the Origins of Consciousness in the Breakdown of the Bicameral Mind as a teenager, around the same time I was becoming a book Buddhist. Its description of the ego as a linguistic analog was so clear and persuasive it scared the heck out of me. It was the first time I began to have a sense of what emptiness and no-self might mean.

Beckett's The Unnameable had a similar effect on me, around the same time - although it's obviously very different."

Yes quite interesting. Like "what's wrong with right now if you don't think about it?" from sailor bob.

"First I ask "where am I in this picture" or "who am I" (the second more so out of habit). I continue to do this until I am clearly just seeing tensions and things arising. At some point the question itself seems strange. Thought is seen to be the one asking the question.

From here I ask "how do I know I'm having an experience." The answer is simply the experience being present. This seems to be the equivalent of noticing you are aware/having an experience. From here, thoughts/emotions are seen to simply be an arising in the total experience.
"

For an interesting variation, replace "where am i in this picture" with "I am wanting things to be different than what is". As in, "I" am of this kind: Wanting things to be different than what is.
This one seems very interesting just on it's own as well

"For an interesting variation, replace "where am i in this picture" with "I am wanting things to be different than what is". As in, "I" am of this kind: Wanting things to be different than what is.
This one seems very interesting just on it's own as well"

This one is interesting. Its almost like a highlighter for resistance. This might be interesting to come back to periodically as a benchmark.