Is Tonglen Truly Awesome? Article from Imperfect Buddha Podcast

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[font=Karla, sans-serif]In approaching such practices, there seem to be three main choices on how to view such processes; magical, agnostic, rational.
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This was a good introductory article for me to develop a framework for starting Tonglen.  

The first few sessions had a really positive feel to them and I thought " wow, this is a great practice, so easy " Pink fluffy unicorns, dancing on rainbows!  Breath in others pain, blow out all my most treasured, good things... yeah, just give it away.  wait, what?  
Then it started to kick my ass with purifications and I realized started to see myself " in relief  " to a ground of being.  
This is where looking at the process or through it with emptiness allows one to not necessarily suffer as much as the meat grinding qualities of the process run in the background.  Freaking suffering/dukkha is everywhere, I can't take it all in.  But I can take it in if I am not me, if it just moves through "me".  Neat stuff. 
 
Relief - Wikipediahttps://en.wikipedia.org › wiki › Relief Relief is a sculptural technique where the sculpted elements remain attached to a solid background of the same material. The term relief is from the Latin verb relevo, to raise. To create a sculpture in relief is to give the impression that the sculpted material has been raised above the background plane.

Didn't have the necessary minutes to read the whole article, but wanted to share my experiences on tonglen. There's an element of letting go of very subtle attachment to one's positive qualities and letting go of very subtle resistance towards negative energies/experiences/feelings. Tonglen makes it more possible to make one's compassionate attention and all the positive qualities be freely distributed without any requirements from who or what is receiving it. It's a complete release of ownership. It also makes accepting and being open in difficult situations more possible in a profound way. It blurs the boundaries of who or what is experiencing a situation. If someone around me is angry, who is experiencing the anger? Where is it happening? In my experience tonglen practice can lead to a direct and profound non-partialized, centerless view in situations where there are intense emotional (or other) energies happening.

I remember that Ken McLeod had some wonderful stuff on tonglen, but couldn't find the direct link. Perhaps in his Guru, Deity, Protector -retreat recordings?

Thank you so much for this reply,  Kalle.   I have been enjoying reading about your experiences re: these types of practices.  It helps me to gather different perspectives about things that I try out.  Some things hit the mark. I am sinking my teeth into WUTYL ( Immeasurable practice, Tonglen, and 4 turnings of mind) Plan to keep this going for awhile. 
Heartfelt thanks.  Kids are great little teachers.  My older kids are getting ready to go off to college and it has been wonderful to see their development.  




In my experience tonglen practice can lead to a direct and profound non-partialized, centerless view in situations where there are intense emotional (or other) energies happening.

I feel this too.  I am able to stay more relaxed and open instead of shut down, or  be indifferent, in really stressful situations. Not always!  But the capacity is increasing. 

So nice to hear that you've read my journaling. I agree, kids are really profound teachers. You get into unbelievible situations that you just have to handle somehow, you can't walk away as is possible with adults. Talk about focusing on extreme life situations, as is suggested in some dzogchen texts.

Interesting to hear how your experience deepens with this kind of focus in practice. Inspiring!

After a one morning intensive on compassion practice including tonglen, another aspect of tonglen practice has been on the forefront. By visualizing oneself manifesting aspects that cause shame, fear and disappointment in oneself and perhaps fear and hurt in others, and opening up to the hurt of this aspect of oneself, it's possible to cause fast and real change in one's behavior in everyday life. It's a good idea to think of the qualities one wants to work on before starting the practice and then ground oneself in compassionate openness before the visualization. Being very embodied and doing somatic practice helps in my opinion. One can also make a promise to stay open to the worst side of oneself and not try to push it under the radar of awareness anymore.

The built-in logic seems to be that when it's possible to be compassionate and open to the worst and most shameful parts of oneself, (perhaps only) then it's possible to be compassionate and understanding towards others who manifest their worst behavior patterns. This has helped me stay open when my own reactive patterns start to happen. Looking at the situation from the openness of the heart chakra (which is the center of radiant and compassionate light for me in tonglen practice) brings an understanding into the situation. Even if it's hard to understand why others are doing what they are doing, just realizing that feeling hurt or exhausted is very human and understandable and opening to those feelings from the perspective of compassion, makes everything so much easier. It's easier to admit to being wrong or acting in a non-constructive way. It's easier to just take the necessary time and wait for the situation to ease up a bit. It's easier to say I'm sorry. Often those things are enough and things can continue to flow instead of ending up in a situation where everybody is just living their reactive patterns again. It's surprisingly hard at least for me to apologize for being the worst version of myself. This practice seems to make it easier.

More emphasis on the emptiness side is helpful to reduce the accumulation of stress, but in my experience doesn't directly lead to actions like saying I'm sorry. If over-emphasized it might even lead to a perspective from which there is never anything to apologize about and one is just kind of astounded at how people react in various situations.

"The built-in logic seems to be that when it's possible to be compassionate and open to the worst and most shameful parts of oneself, (perhaps only) then it's possible to be compassionate and understanding towards others who manifest their worst behavior patterns."

I've found that to be true.

I've recently started to practice Tonglen as suggested by Shargrol to me and so far I think its a very interesting practice, giving yet another angle, another approach to any difficult or lacking experience. I will paste it here;

Let me copy paste in here this form of Tonglen by shargrol;

"There is a version of tonglen that I highly recommend:

1. Find some aspect of your present experience that is lacking, is difficult, is suffering, etc.
2. Feel that experience. It can help to name it.
3. State the intention: "if there are any other beings out there that are experiencing this and having too much difficulty with it, may I experience it for them. May their experience come to me. May I fully experience it with no resistance. May they find relief."
4. Feel that experience again. Soak in it, dwell in it. Also imagine the joy the other feels being free of it and how they can gain perspective/insight because they now aren't overwhelmed by it. Go back and forth between you and other.
5. After a period of time that feels right, drop the intention and say, "May all beings be free from suffering, may all beings awaken, may all beings be happy."

And then repeat the whole cycle again when it feels right.

The benefit of this practice is you are not taking on anything new, you're experiencing what you are already experiencing, but you are taking on what you are already experiencing with a much deeper intention that goes beyond yourself.  And it ends with a reaffirmation that we're all worthy of peace, awakening, and happiness.

Give it a try. And feel free to disregard if it doesn't seem like a good match."