Terry's practice log

"10/31/12 6:50am One hour practice: 10min 1st jhana, 20min 2nd, 10min 1st, 20min noting. Practicing what Kenneth taught me as the 1st jhana, I felt comfortable and the experience had all the characteristics that Kenneth mentioned: focus on the tip of the nose, feeling solid, awareness of vitakka, viccara, and piti. Practicing what Kenneth taught me as the 2nd jhana, I didn't have any brightness in the visual field (no more than in 1st), and I could imagine pinching my nose with my thumb and forefinger (as easily as I could in 1st). As last night, 2nd seemed less compelling than 1st.

I switched to noting for last 20 minutes because my mind had been quite active, associated with some tensions in the right torso. Even after switching to noting, however, the tensions persisted in catching my mind, which continued to spin out its favorite story of the day."

Hi, Terry, I have a technical question: are you just estimating these times, or do you use a timer that chimes at intervals, or do you (gasp!) peek? I asked Leigh Brasington last summer whether I should try using the chime on my phone to direct me to end jhana practice and move into insight, but he said that would be too busy.

I've been enjoying your thread, btw, and your blog.

JLaurelC: I use a timer that chimes at intervals. I find that if I don't use a timer, my mind is busy trying to decide whether to switch.

That happens to me constantly. Plus I'm tempted to switch if I'm having trouble with a particular practice; however, the fact that a practice is difficult can often be a sign that we need to stick with it. I'll try this; thanks!

11/01/12 12:45pm 90 minutes seated noting, sometimes mouthed. For the first half, I felt like I was in a "wavelength" similar to what Kenneth called the 1st jhana: there was pressure in the face, a kind of focus on the region of the nose, and my head was tilted forward. For about 20 minutes I frequently noted pressure, aversion, unpleasant with regard to the waistband of my trousers. Then I loosened the waistband, and the noting of aversion/unpleasant was very much reduced. Throughout this first half, there was a lot of sleepiness, and I frequently drifted into a dreamy state.

Then, I popped out of one of the dreamy states into what immediately felt like a lighter mental state. I asked myself if it was similar to what Kenneth called the 2nd jhana, and it seemed to be. My head was tilted slightly upward, the pressure in the face was lessened (though still present), and I no longer had the sense of focusing on the nose region. I also felt a bit more awake, and pleasure increased somewhat. I tried virtually pinching my nose, and it seemed somewhat less easy than before. I did not notice any unpleasantness or aversion in this state. There was still sleepiness and I still drifted into dreamy states.

After about another 30 minutes, I decided to try to go back into the original mental state by sort of bearing down and focusing on the nose region. Immediately, I noticed a slight increase in pleasant bodily sensations. I regained some of the features of the first state, but when I stopped bearing down, I quickly snapped back into the second state. It seemed like of like putting pressure on an inflated balloon, then releasing it.

All around, a quite enjoyable sit, with little or no desire for the period to end.

"Then, I popped out of one of the dreamy states into what immediately felt like a lighter mental state. I asked myself if it was similar to what Kenneth called the 2nd jhana, and it seemed to be. My head was tilted slightly upward, the pressure in the face was lessened (though still present), and I no longer had the sense of focusing on the nose region. I also felt a bit more awake, and pleasure increased somewhat. I tried virtually pinching my nose, and it seemed somewhat less easy than before. I did not notice any unpleasantness or aversion in this state. There was still sleepiness and I still drifted into dreamy states.

After about another 30 minutes, I decided to try to go back into the original mental state by sort of bearing down and focusing on the nose region. Immediately, I noticed a slight increase in pleasant bodily sensations. I regained some of the features of the first state, but when I stopped bearing down, I quickly snapped back into the second state. It seemed like of like putting pressure on an inflated balloon, then releasing it." -tfarrah

Beautiful! It sounds like you are getting a true A/B comparison now between 1st and 2nd jhana. Now try deepening into each of them in turn using the iterative process we discussed. See if, by going deeply into one, you can transport that same depth straight across into the other.

Kenneth -- During the sit you commented on, I was doing noting practice -- would you still call the states jhanas, or simply the 1st and 4th nanas? If I were to try to deepen them, I would stop noting and focus exclusively on the phenomena you taught me -- is this correct?

Should I be concerned about keeping up a certain amount of noting (Vipassana) practice daily, to keep up my momentum? Or is it OK for a large part of my typical daily 1.5 hours to be jhana/concentration practice for a while?

"Kenneth -- During the sit you commented on, I was doing noting practice -- would you still call the states jhanas, or simply the 1st and 4th nanas? If I were to try to deepen them, I would stop noting and focus exclusively on the phenomena you taught me -- is this correct?" -tfarrah

I remember something Sayadaw U Pandita said in Rangoon in '93: "You can enter jhana... samatha jhana!... via the vipassana technique!"

It's essential to understand that jhana is a place in the mind, a particular frequency, a habitat, as described by a particular set of jhanic factors. Hence, it can be accessed by any number of techniques. Vipassana, e.g., noting practice, is as good a way to access that place as any other. And you can go very, very deep into jhana by using the vipassana/noting technique. So, I would experiment with noting and not-noting, with vipassana and samatha techniques and see what results. I am interested in learning what you find... for me, this is an ongoing experiment and every yogi yields precious data points. In other words, "yes!"... you are in jhana whenever your experience feels like jhana, irrespective of the technique you used to get there.

"Should I be concerned about keeping up a certain amount of noting (Vipassana) practice daily, to keep up my momentum? Or is it OK for a large part of my typical daily 1.5 hours to be jhana/concentration practice for a while?" -tfarrah

At this point in your practice, it's also totally legitimate to give yourself over to samatha for awhile and see what happens. If you find that you are getting out of balance, you can go back to doing more vipassana. But for now, if samatha (pure concentration) is calling to you and you'd like to see how deep you can go into jhana, there is no reason why you can't focus exclusively or at least primarily on samatha and see how it goes for you.

Thanks, Kenneth. Yesterday's sit was fun and I'm looking forward to more.

11/02/12 7am 30 minutes distracted seated silent noting.
11/02/12 9:30am 30 minutes silent noting on the bus, then walking, to work.

1pm 30 minutes practicing Kenneth's jhanas. Half 1st, half 2nd. Similar to 10/30 and 10/31, the second seemed less compelling/absorbing.

11/03/12 8am 10 minutes noting, 50 minutes inner child work (similar to that described later in this post)

11/04/12 7am 30 minutes whispered noting

11/04/12 noon 90 minutes seated practice:
20 minutes Kenneth's 1st jhana
15 minutes whispered noting
25 minutes inner child work
30 minutes whispered noting
During the 1st jhana practice, I gently noted phenomena that were taking my attention away from the things Kenneth told me to focus on: solidity, vitakka/viccara (effort), pleasure (piti), pulsing. I saw that I was frequently distracted by the trauma-related tension in the right chest/throat. I then switched to noting, hoping that this tension would dissolve, but it didn't.

Then I switched to inner child work: I put my attention on the tension and tried to move with it. I noted the thoughts that then arose. The same thoughts arise whenever I do this work: this isn't working, this is a waste of time, this is not a good practice, you should be doing something else, this is dangerous. The tension slowly transformed into a broader, lively set of sensations throughout the torso. The word "fiery" came to mind; this is a word that my physical therapist used to describe the personality of her <i>in utero</i> child. I don't think of myself as fiery but it's nice to think that I am, but that the fieriness is masked by fear. As usual, it was hard to stay with this work because of all the fear and doubt.

Then I returned to noting. The tension did not return and I noted no aversion. My attention was good, didn't much get lost in thought, felt relaxed. However, there was some restlessness, and toward the end, I longed for the session to be over.

11/05/12 6:15am 90 minutes seated practice:
45 minutes Kenneth's 1st jhana
45 minutes whispered noting
A compelling thought stream dominated my practice today. During "jhana" practice, I was mostly absorbed in this train of thought. To try to interrupt this, I began some light noting. But I never got deep at all. Pulsing, expanding, pleasure ... thinking ... sadness, fear, sadness, aversion ... thinking ... sadness, expanding, releasing, pulsing, hearing, hearing, expanding, sadness ...

11/05/12 10:30pm 30 minutes Kenneth's 1st jhana. Didn't go deep at all; many external distractions.

11/06/12 6:30am 60 minutes whispered noting. As usual, not clear which nana. Not clearly the same as Kenneth's 1st jhana. Didn't seem to be noticing the endings of things. Concentration was good. There was a fair amount of aversion, but somehow this didn't make me long for the session to end. Sadness, feeling, pulsing, sadness, pressure, aversion, aversion, aversion, hearing, aversion, expanding, releasing, hearing, sadness, sleepiness, planning, shame, aversion ...

11/06/12 8:40pm 30 minutes Kenneth's 1st jhana. Gradually went deeper and deeper. It was enjoyable. I wonder how this is different from the anapanasati concentration practice that I learned from Tina & Stephen. It feels quite similar. With Tina & Stephen's practice, I steadfastly held the breath at the upper lip/nostrils as object. With Kenneth's 1st jhana, the focus is more varied and diffuse: on the nose region, on vitakka & viccara, on piti. Given that Kenneth says his 1st jhana is a frequency of the mind corresponding to the 1st nana, perhaps the more relevant question is, am I tuning into that same frequency when I do Tina & Stephen's practice? ... I particularly enjoyed focusing on vitakka and viccara. I used a metaphor from Shaila's Focused and Fearless: that of cleaning house. Clearing away everything except the object of concentration, and enjoying a sense of satisfaction throughout the process. I'm a person who likes to tidy up, so for me the metaphor is apt.

11/07/12 7am 45 minutes seated meditation (intervals below are approximations; I didn't use a timer):
20 minutes Kenneth's 1st jhana
12 minutes Kenneth's 2nd jhana
1 minute Kenneth's 1st jhana
10 minutes noting
2 minutes inner child work
Going into 1st jhana was easy and I went fairly deep given the short time. To switch to 2nd, I lifted my head. As with all previous attempts, 2nd jhana was less compelling. My mind seemed to want to stay with 1st jhana and it took quite some effort to keep my focus on pulsing and piti. I would like to spend a longer time period with this sometime--perhaps my entire 30 minute sit later today ... During my entire sit, a pessimistic mood associated with tension/sadness in the right throat was a significant distraction. Usually, noting or inner child work will break up this mood, which is why I eventually switched to these practices.

11/07/12 11:15am 30 minutes Kenneth's 2nd jhana
Began with 2 minutes attending to inner child. (Am committed today to staying in contact with this persona as much as possible throughout the day.)
Then, lifted head and focused on pulsing and piti. Gradually, I became more absorbed in this state than any time since Kenneth taught me this 8 days ago. It seems that it's fear that hinders absorption at first--fear of pleasure, perhaps. At one point toward the end of the sitting, I noticed some brightness in my visual field, but this disappeared just a few seconds after I started paying attention to it. This sitting was quite pleasant, especially once I moved beyond the fear. Piti increased throughout. Breathing slowed. Finally, I noticed a phenomenon that also occurs doing Tina & Stephen's anapanasati concentration practice: it became difficult to swallow, and I needed to tip my head forward to do so. Luckily, for me the need to swallow occurs infrequently during any concentration practice.

I arose feeling light and refreshed.

Would like to attempt this for an even longer time period.

I would like to know where Kenneth's jhanas fit into the world of jhana. Are they Vipassana jhanas, since they correspond to the nanas? Or are they samatha jhanas, since Kenneth says they can be developed into hard jhanas (he may have said "rock solid" or something like that, that seemed to imply deep absorption with little/no awareness of sensory perception). Or is there a viewpoint within which there is no distinction? I imagine the answers are somewhere on this website.

11/07/12 7:05pm 5 minutes Kenneth's 2nd jhana at start of Buddhism & Western psychology class

11/08/12 6:45am 54 minutes Kenneth's 2nd jhana. Although I spent more time here today than yesterday, I did not go as deep.

(edited to correct dates)

11/08/12 10:45pm 15 minutes Kenneth's 1st jhana

11/09/12 7am 45 minutes with Kenneth's jhanas: 1st, then 2nd. For 1st, went medium deep (relative to all sessions with this jhana over the past 10 days). For 2nd, also medium deep. Though I was not very deep, I was very content and wished to stay with it.

11/09/12 1pm 30 minutes Kenneth's 2nd jhana. A lot of sleepiness today. I think it might be said that my concentration was poor. I wasn't quite dreaming or daydreaming; there was no clear content to my thoughts. But I often was not focused on pulsing or piti. I was quite content. When I was aware, I was aware of the inner-child/trauma-related sensations in the right chest and throat.

Apropos to that--today, as part of my trauma-recovery efforts, I've been directing my attention to those sensations every 20 minutes and also whenever I've felt the urge to check email or Facebook. As usual, strong fear comes up every time, and it is difficult. As usual, though, this practice contributes to feeling calm, centered, and focused on my work.

11/10/12 8am 90 minutes seated whispered noting. For the first half or so, it seemed that I let go of phenomena as soon as I noted them. Or that I was seeing mainly the endings of things. I don't know if these are different. If I knew that they were different, I would try to notice the difference between them. Suffice to say that it felt much like experience was passing through me, leaving little residue, and that the mind was mostly not clinging to phenomena by creating memories of them, categorizing them, or relating them to other phenomena. When the mind was clinging, I mostly noticed it and noted clinging, categorizing, or organizing.

This type of attention is not highly unusual in my experience; I just don't always describe it in detail.

As the session continued, I found that my mind did more clinging, categorizing, and organizing, and that phenomena did not pass out of my awareness so quickly. Also, I experienced more aversion. But, overall, there was very little aversion, and I mostly was not averse to it. I did not long for the session to be over. It did not occur to me that the quality of my experience was similar to either Kenneth's 1st jhana or his 2nd jhana.

Watched a few videos of Shinzen Young: 1. an executive summary of what he means by enlightenment (stream entry, or knowledge of the illusion of self), 2. an answer to the question, "which map is best"? (they are all mediocre, and this is good news, because with our scientific way of thinking we can probably do so much better), 3. a talk on the ox-taming illustrations. Also tried to listen to a talk by Dan Ingram from the latest Buddhist Geeks conference, but didn't have the patience for it.

11/10/12 9pm 45 minutes Kenneth's 1st jhana. Tried to relax and deepen. Tried to gently let go of anything except focus on the tip of the nostrils, vitakka, and viccara. I went medium deep. When the timer went off, I seemed to awaken from a state of non-awareness and felt a fright. I didn't know where I was, what activity I'd been engaged in, what time it was, and what I was supposed to do next. Had I been dozing? It just took a couple of seconds to remember.

3pm 40 minutes seated silent noting. A lot of sleepiness, probably because I ran a competitive 5K run this morning. The typical pulsing, expanding, releasing, pressure, pleasure, sleepiness, aching (some small physical pains), aversion, planning, sleepiness ... Not a lot of aversion, and I felt OK about it. Quit to take a delicious nap. Will be meeting two dharma friends soon to compare notes on concentration practice. Among us we have practiced with Tina Rasmussen and Stephen Snyder, Leigh Brasington, Pa Auk Sayadaw, Goenka, and Kenneth.

6:30pmn 40 minutes Kenneth's 1st jhana. Went deep, as deep as I've so far been in this state, maybe even a bit deeper. Very enjoyable. My approach to Kenneth's 1st jhana practice has been notably more relaxed than my approach was, in the past, to Tina/Stephen's 1st jhana practice. When doing Tina/Stephen's practice, I tried very hard to keep my attention on the breath at the nostrils. Practicing Kenneth's 1st jhana, I somehow trust that gentle effort plus intention plus relaxation will take me where I want to go. Perhaps this is because by Kenneth's definition, I am already in 1st jhana the moment I sit, focus on the lower portion of my face, and pay attention to vitakka and viccara. So there is nowhere to go except "deeper". With Tina and Stephen's practice, I was striving to get the nimitta, then striving to get jhana.

very interesting! thank you!

11/12/12 7am: 20 minutes Kenneth's jhanas. 1st, then 2nd, then towards the end quickly to 1st then 2nd again. Very enjoyable. Still not getting any light in the visual field during 2nd. Interested to learn 3rd and more.

11/12/12 11pm: 15 minutes seated noting.

11/13/12 7am: 20 minutes seated noting.

11/13/12 noon: 45 minutes seated noting. I was going to do an hour, but I was so sleepy that every minute or two I'd find myself with my head tipped all the way forward. The sitting was weirdly pleasant.