Nadav's practice notes, part II

This seems like a good time to begin a new thread. I'm pretty damn sure my last shift was technical 4th path / Kenneth's 5th stage.

My previous one is here: kennethfolkdharma.wetpaint.com/thread/40...fset=0&maxResults=20
Some milestones in there:
1st path - post #190
2nd path - post #288
3rd path - post #310
4th path - post #353

A brief digression here...
The teachings available on this website and elsewhere in the digital pragmatic dharma world are truly wonderful. I started meditating daily about 2 years ago and began studying with Kenneth about a year and a half ago.

I'm far from "complete enlightenment" (if there really is an end point to this process), but I've seen a significant transformation in the way I experience life, emotions, conflicts, etc in a short period of time. I was fortunate to have been exposed to meditation as a child, and to take it on in earnest in a time of my life that afforded plenty of time to practice, but I don't think my progress is surprising or exceptional.

The techniques we talk about here, namely noting, really work. If you actually follow the instructions, results will follow. All the conceptual stuff about the maps and stages is secondary and not always helpful (though knowing about the dark night can make it more manageable), but I have no doubt that anyone can benefit greatly from picking a technique that suits them and then USING IT. For me this was noting (out loud when possible), which I used ruthlessly until it became so habituated that I'd start noting immediately after waking up.

Hi Nadav,
Congratulations on attaining 4th path! I just wanted to let you know that your practice thread has been very inspirational for my practice up until now, so thank you for sharing your experiences!

Welcome to KFD, Nadav II, you sound very enlightened
A thousand congratulations, and thank you for showing yet again that it can be done

My emotional sensitivity is way up right now. Very empathic, and come close to tears by just about anything. It's kind of beautiful.

Sat for 15 minutes this morning. Counted the breaths for a bit (things open up A&P-ishly very very quickly when I do this) then just sat with the body sensations. Found myself going up the jhanic arc, up to 8. Decided to try NS. The sinking feeling was very clear and lasted for longer than usual, then the energetic turbulence kicked up, then some more sinking. Not sure if I hit it or not but got a feeling of things powering back up (much more quickly than on the way down).

I've been doing a lot of driving lately, which is always a great opportunity for practice. My main practices have been metta and body awareness, usually a combination thereof. If I'm too distracted to stay with it, I count the breath for a while. If i'm too distracted for that (or just don't feel like it), I'll note until concentration/mindfulness kicks up, then switch to body awareness with a side of smiling and metta. Sometimes I'll add the witness focus to the mix too: go into it to minimize attention bounce, then include the rest of the body, then cue the metta - all together. I haven't done this for very long.
Tonight I also used the 'listening to the ships in the harbor' gesture which worked very well. I used it to tune into emptiness/mahamudra/whatever for a while and saw attention get more and more panoramic and clear and the lack of self become more apparent. Eventually I had a huge fruition. It made me laugh.

My metta chops (hehe, jazz speak) are improving. I can bring up a pleasant feeling in the chest immediately by smiling and "may I be happy". I see that I can now do this just by inclining the mind without the verbal wish. Makes sense.. just like I used to use "who am I?" to get into the witness but after a while I could go there directly.

Skandha metta is very quick and effective at building pleasantness. I did it on the drive back tonight... just one round, a minute or 2 on each skahndha and I was feeling really good. Seems to be a good platform for body awareness practice.

""My main practices have been metta and body awareness, usually a combination thereof.""

Hey,

This is cool. I seem to be in the same spot myself practice wise. I look forward to reading more of your posts. What is skandha metta? Thanks.

Bill

"This seems like a good time to begin a new thread. I'm pretty damn sure my last shift was technical 4th path / Kenneth's 5th stage.

"

Very cool, congratulations!

Thanks guys.

Bill, I just checked out your practice journal - very cool.

Skandha metta is directing metta towards each of the skandhas. I got it from Owen here:
kennethfolkdharma.wetpaint.com/thread/4364102/Skandha+Metta
Nikolai's slightly different interpretation is on here:
thehamiltonproject.blogspot.com/2010/12/...boom-boom-super.html

Neat Nadav!

Interesting. Thank you.

Two of the more obvious sources of suffering these days: stressful driving, recurring thoughts of past romances (one in particular)

If unpleasantness from cycling is (at least so far) manifesting as just somewhat irritating or distracting physical nastiness, then thoughts must be what turn stuff into full-on crap. On the whole though, my emotional state has been much calmer lately.

Think something clicked with direct mode practice yesterday. Villum reminded me that we're working with emotional/energetic stuff, and not to expect hard tensions to go away.

So, emotional stuff appears vibratory. Once it's "grounded", all that remains is contentment, calmness, joy, equanimity, etc. Experience is simpler and feels more normal. Any further vibrational charge is felt pretty clearly from this point. The grounding bit took a bit of work at first yesterday, but it's already become quicker today. I've been noting mind states when possible, and sometimes noting "allow" to help with the grounding. I've been tuning into the effortlessness of the whole thing today.

Last night in bed before going to sleep, I began to see the changing mind states at a faster rate, tuning into it on the vibratory level like Antero talks about. Too fast to note. Pretty cool. I woke up with immediate awareness of the body and mind state.

I had a bit of a crisis at work today, and it was bizarre to turn inward and find calmness, contentment, calmness, joy etc while it was going on.

Basically all of the activity so far is below the head. Mostly in the chest, and also joy in the feet.

Happy Feet!
very glad to hear it's working out for you. Sounds like you're really getting into it.

I have never had joy in the feet but it sounds like a good thing. It seems like the noting/grounding naturally moves into tuning into the vibrations and the more you practice the easier it becomes to remain in that mode. Did you find this to be true or was there an intentional switch? Thanks for the notes.

I'm not sure I understand your question exactly, Bill. There was some effort when I started to work with this yesterday, but it has become easier. I've been getting subtle vibratory stuff, especially in the chest and head, for a few weeks now. Doing this practice has clarified the connection between sensation and mind state, for sure. It wasn't so obvious before. Also, once I am stable in it (which has been mostly effortless and constant since yesterday), any vibrational activity is rather obvious when it arises against the stable background.

My bad, dude. That wasn't very clear. Doing the grounding/noting I've noticed at certain points it seems to take on a life of its own and just moves naturally into the state you referred to as tuning into the vibrations. I was just wondering if it was like that for you.

Oh, I get it now.
That's only happened once so far, two nights ago (post #11) and it was intentional then.

"Last night in bed before going to sleep, I began to see the changing mind states at a faster rate, tuning into it on the vibratory level like Antero talks about. Too fast to note. Pretty cool. I woke up with immediate awareness of the body and mind state.
- Nadav"

Nice Nadav!

For me tuning into vibrations went the same way you wrote: first noting mind states fast, then noticing them even faster. This brings the vibration that is present all the time into focus. Once the mind knows where look for it, it can be found anytime until the body and the mind merge with it completely.

In addition to the direct mode practice, I've been noticing the aspects of the formless jhanas (5-7) a few times a day. Generally when I incline the mind towards one of these, tension is created. What I've been doing is noticing that the actual aspects of the jhanas (space, consciousness, nothingness) are always present within experience and can be noticed effortlessly (without creating the volitional tension, or at least as separate from it).

Since yesterday, the 'grounding' of the vibrational emotion stuff has been happening more quickly and more naturally, before it can really become fully formed. The tension in the chest that I read as anxiety still arises, but it's more flat without this dynamic vibratory aspect. I'm pretty sure I've only noted 'positive' mind states since yesterday. Even when I'm still groggy after waking up, the mind is still clear and equanimous. Interestingly, someone pointed out that I was behaving like I was anxious during a challenging conversation (fidgeting, looking around restlessly) even though I did not feel this internally. So, the behavior remains but the perception of it is different. My current take is that I'm tuning in to the fact that the mind/consciousness, which has no stake, is always open, content, calm, vast etc. Let's see what happens when a really challenging situation comes up.

"Since yesterday, the 'grounding' of the vibrational emotion stuff has been happening more quickly and more naturally, before it can really become fully formed. The tension in the chest that I read as anxiety still arises, but it's more flat without this dynamic vibratory aspect."

Sounds great, Nadav. It does seem that things like anxiety or anger still flicker, even as merely body sensations, but they lose that sting that comes when they echo and solidify.

"My current take is that I'm tuning in to the fact that the mind/consciousness, which has no stake, is always open, content, calm, vast etc. "

"Pure space has neither colour nor shape
And it cannot be stained either black or white;
So also, mind's essence is beyond both colour and shape
And it cannot be sullied by black or white deeds.

The darkness of a thousand aeons is powerless
To dim the crystal clarity of the sun's heart;
And likewise, aeons of samsara have no power
To veil the clear light of the mind's essence.

Although space has been designated "empty",
In reality it is inexpressible;
Although the nature of mind is called "clear light",
Its every ascription is baseless verbal fiction.

The mind's original nature is like space;
It pervades and embraces all things under the sun.
Be still and stay relaxed in genuine ease,
Be quiet and let sound reverberate as an echo,
Keep your mind silent and watch the ending of all worlds."

www.keithdowman.net/mahamudra/tilopa.htm

"Interestingly, someone pointed out that I was behaving like I was anxious during a challenging conversation (fidgeting, looking around restlessly) even though I did not feel this internally. So, the behavior remains but the perception of it is different." -Nadav

Antonio Damasio distinguishes between emotions and feelings. Emotions are events like chemical releases, neuronal activity, and macroscopic, observable behavior like facial expressions, emotional outbursts, etc. Feelings, on the other hand, are the subjective experience of those emotions. You can have emotions without feelings. In fact, different regions of the brain are involved. I call this "Damasio's distinction," and for me it clears up a lot of the confusion we often have in our discussions here at KFDh.

Read about it in Damasio's "Looking for Spinoza." Highly recommended. I nominate this book (which is available on Kindle) as required reading for anyone who wants to understand what is happening to us as we go through this process of reshaping our neurons via mediation.

Also see Thomas Metzinger's "The Ego Tunnel" for more on how modern neuroscience can shed light on enlightenment.

Ooo - birthday coming up - Damasio's book has been brought to my Girlfriend's attention.

"Ooo - birthday coming up - Damasio's book has been brought to my Girlfriend's attention."

Aha! Good to hear from you, Kenneth.

I actually picked up a copy of "Looking for Spinoza" a few years ago, but didn't get through much of it. Seems like now would be a good time to pick it back up. (Metzinger's The Ego Tunnel is also available on Kindle, yay!)