Handy list of tips (ie don't do what I did!)

Does anyone else have handy tips based on their own adventures, or based on scenarios friends have suffered through?

This week's top tips, for me, would be:

Make your practice a part of your daily life, not something you drudge through like homework until (hopefully) you graduate and never have to do it again. You are going to need it for longer than you think. Practice will evolve over time, but if anything it's going to become so pervasive and saturate your life to such a degree that you might as well come at it as an interesting and engaging thing, not something to get over with.

Doing traditional energy work practices, devotional practices or meditation practices will lead to transformation. Not necessarily the fun adventure in consciousness, confidence, power and happiness the weekend kundalini coach implied. Transformation is like renovating a room in your house: there's a huge mess, a lot of dust and dirt, before the new room takes shape. And then you realize the other part of the house needs work, too, and the landscaping needs work....

The best giveaway to that "sense of self" you think you want to eradicate is in clinging and aversion. If you don't like something, feel defensive about something, bothered, irritated, angry; if you want more of something, want to achieve something, own something, make things happen a certain way, feel a certain way, be in control: that's all the sense of self in action. So the idea that you will "win the game" by "getting rid of" certain reactions falls squarely into action driven by the sense of self (I want to feel a certain way, I don't like this, I like that) and is a good way to get into an endless loop. Instead, just observe without interfering. Be an anthropologist on Mars in regard to your own mind.

Each time you have a big insight or shift in practice, it will allow you to see more of the above more clearly, so you can go deeper (more renovations in progress!).

One of the great hindrances to "progress" is avoiding things you don't like. Every time unpleasant stuff arises, it's like giant bright colored targets for you to observe and learn from. The happy blissful spells may feel like success, but are more like vacations, where very little progress is made. The best work gets done in walking into and investigating the nature of things you don't like.

The more clearly you see, the more you understand how you create your own suffering, which leads to greater compassion, as you begin to see that everyone else is struggling inside with the same kinds of processes.

The more you recognize how much you don't know, don't control, don't own, and don't have, the more wisdom arises.

Others? Agreements? Disagreements?

That's really solid Ona.

Some repeating themes...

Don't over-engineer your practice. There is a lot of doubt in the beginning (and middle and end) but don't be tempted to try and control what happens or predict what SHOULD happen. It's impossible to guess where practice will lead, despite all the maps that have been formulated over the years. It's impossible to know exactly which practice is "best" despite all the discussions and debate over the years. It's really a matter of seat of the pants to the seat of the cushion, one thing will lead to another. You need to go through what you need to go through. This experience is a door to a door to a door. Go through the door that's open now.

My practice skyrocketted when I just developed a consistent, let's see what happens practice.

Hang around other skilled meditators as much as possible. If possible, find a teacher. Not necessarily a lifetime teacher, but one that will get you through whatever your working on now. (Ugh, I wasted decades being a proud little dark night yogi who knew better than everyone else what I needed!)

My practice skyrocketted when I first talked a little with Daniel. And each time I started working with a new teacher (Kenneth, Beth, and Hokai), they each helped me see more of the path.

Don't take experiences too seriously. Again, with all of the doubt involved with practice, it's tempting to solidify any experience into meaning some particular thing and evidence of X, Y, or Z. A big bliss wow experience is fun, but don't try to repeat it. Conversely, dark night yogis are prone to thinking about how bad one's practice is, how much purification is required, how flawed we are, how weak our mindfulness is, how we need a better practice method.... Guess what? Those are all just more experiences to look at. They aren't you, they are happening in your experience. Claiming them as your own is a way of making things into a solid "self" problem, instead of a confusing situation. It's okay to be confused.

Seeing through my identity as a suffering dark night yogi completely changed my life. I started seeing hard situations as impersonal and transitional events, rather than feeling guilty about them happening.

And lastly, like Ona said, be there for your practice. 20 minutes a day of really experiencing your being is worth more than an hour long sit. How is your experience? How do you know where you are? What is inside and outside? What is a human being? Your practice method should take up about 10 or 20% of what you experience, otherwise be open to what is happening. When things get tough, remember it's a lifetime practice. Just experience what you can for the moment, do what you can, talk with others and....

When the horse throws you, get back on the horse. And if that's too much, take the reins of the horse and walk along side the horse, patting its shoulder, and tell the horse how much you like traveling with it.

Good ones, Shargrol. Especially the part about building an identity around being a dark night yogi (and I think it applies to various "poor suffering me" identities we can construct) - that's good. Very good.

This is going to start to sound repetitive.

1.) Simplify - This is a reoccurring theme I see a lot lately. I am not sure a lot of the struggling beginners I have seen are actually doing the practice effectively. It seems that people add a whole layer of complexity and embed themselves in their experience even more. It is waaaaaay simpler than it seems and I remember when I started I said 'That is it? Really? I just note sensations?' Noting single words at a nice steady, not too fast pace can, and will, get the job done. If you keep getting off track, note aloud, if that doesn't seem to get traction, find someone on Skype to pair up with and do some back and forth ping-pong style noting until you get the hang of it.

2) Expectations - Drop them. The most painful parts of my practice is when I had expectations of how things should be and then either it turned out different or my expectations were completely shattered all together.

3) Clinging to states - Similar to what shargrol said above. Awakening is not a state, but you will most likely encounter them along the way. Some are very blissful, some are downright weird. If you get hung up on trying to repeat these things, it can be really frustrating.

4) Trying to line up your experiences with other people, especially the experiences in MCTB, can bring on some major questioning and frustration. Daniel is very unique in his ability to rapidly experience things with extreme clarity. It is unlikely that your experience will line up with his or anyone's really. There are obviously stages that we all pass through, but some are more obvious than others. Some may never be noticed. And others may be very unique to you. For example, my Fear nana is experienced in a completely different way than my wife's. Actually, if I think about it that way, there are markers for these things, but they show themselves very differently between individuals.

5) This should be number 1, but having a consistent teacher was very key in my progress, as well as talking to other people who have 'done this thing' regardless of tradition. Direct feedback from a skilled teacher is so valuable.

I will probably have more to add later but I have work to do...

Oooh #4 is very important!!! Everyone is different and different isn't wrong.

Something I think I was stuck in was the tendency to overly condense my life into my practice when my life was pretty narrow to begin with. I was way too isolated. What's helping me now is becoming more involved in my body (going for runs, doing stretches, working out) and establishing a stronger foundation in the basic health of being in it and the way it interacts with other situations/moments.

I don't know what it would have been like had I tried to do this before I had some mind/body insights, though. And since then, my practice has been a part of getting into my body.

I'd say, when starting from a state of really mangled wellness it is probably good to pursue physical relaxation and appreciation of things-in-and-of-themselves. maybe looking at paintings, or reading poetry, or going for walks or sungazing or appreciation of classical music. and trying to be receptive to the thought that things can be good.

To add to Russell's comment on clinging to states: life hands us all kinds of states all day long - being bored, angry, happy, sad, relaxed, tired, etc. No need to focus on meditative states as more special than all the rest of them. Take advantage of whatever comes up!

I think Osho says what I meant better when he talks about meditating on just a flower, on something that is beautiful to the beholder.

shargrol wrote: When the horse throws you, get back on the horse. And if that's too much, take the reins of the horse and walk along side the horse, patting its shoulder, and tell the horse how much you like traveling with it.

One of my favourite Leonard Cohen songs (who as most of us probably know spent a number of years at a Zen monastery), apparently based on the Oxherding Pictures:

I almost forgot this one:

6) Don't listen to anything any of us say. We don't know anything

lol

Thanks Ona for the list and those that have added to it. I have found this to be most helpful right now.

7) Never think you are done

Russell wrote: 7) Never think you are done

In an interesting twist, that is actually your point #2, isn't it? If you have no expectations, then there's just this, just as it is... and "done" or "not done" is inapplicable.

Ona Kiser wrote:

Russell wrote: 7) Never think you are done

In an interesting twist, that is actually your point #2, isn't it? If you have no expectations, then there's just this, just as it is... and "done" or "not done" is inapplicable.

Yep

Chris Marti wrote: Try to relax.

the view, the path, the result

shargrol wrote:

Chris Marti wrote: Try to relax.

the view, the path, the result

Above all, the irony.

* Develop a good sense of humour - laugh at yourself a lot

* Maintain a sense of wonder and curiosity - like its an adventure rather than an ordeal.

* All this is just us, including the fear that's why its good to laugh (Like a kitten 'sizing up' to its reflection in the mirror - that always cracks me up) - we are often like that with our experiences

Getting ridiculous hitting "thank you"on every single post, so just to say these are all genius tips!

I've been trying to restrain a little bit sincere impulses to click the thank you button, but throwing in the towel with this thread! Very helpful right now.