Reggie Ray on Attainment.

"Insight is not something that we can obtain and then carry around with us like a possession. It is always fresh, always momentary, and continually needs to be rediscovered. The moment there is the thought of having attained insight, it has been covered by that very thought and we need to look all over again." ~Reginald A. Ray, Secret of the Vajra World.

Different statements about path and result resonate with me at different times in my practice. Right now, the above statement really hits home for me. Fresh, momentary, needing to be continually rediscovered - for me, these words point to the inseparability of practice and awakening. There is a responsibility to trust present experiencing, and to trust in the practice of opening to reality as it presents itself in each passing moment.

Every time I've attempted to hang my hat on some notion that was done in any final or complete way, I've quickly fallen out of the practice of returning, opening, being ever more vulnerable, allowing myself to be deeply touched without acting on impulses which encourage me to duck and cover.

Conversely, every time I have fully opened to my difficulties in any given moment - really allow them to work through themselves in awareness - the more open, spacious, free, and clear my realization of awakening becomes. And this resonates with what I hear the most experienced practitioners and teachers saying time and time again. There are periods of clarity, freedom, insight and understanding - and these are followed by an upsurge of unfinished business, contracted states, and difficulties in general. Trusting our truth - whether we conceive that as Emptiness, or God, or primordial awareness, or Buddha Nature, or Citta - we can acknowledge our difficulties, experience them fully, and allow them to resolve.

And it's not like we return to the same realization every time. Sure, we may revisit certain facets of awakening from time to time. But the more we peel back the layers, the more we see just how mysterious, how unpredictable, how ineffable this truth really is.

I didn't mean for this to become such a long post. I really just wanted to post the Reggie quote This sort of just poured out of me. As always, I'd love to hear what any of you have to say about it - even if (especially if) you don't agree.

-Jackson

This is a wonderful quote, Jackson, and your addition-- "And it's not like we return to the same realization every time. Sure, we
may revisit certain facets of awakening from time to time. But the more
we peel back the layers, the more we see just how mysterious, how
unpredictable, how ineffable this truth really is."-- highlights the paradox: what is the 'same' about the experience of insight is that fresh, unprecedented, surprising quality; what is different every time is the 'content' that is startling us anew. There's a sort of 'you can't have the same insight twice' thing that happens.

Thanks, Kate!

"There's a sort of 'you can't have the same insight twice' thing that happens."

I agree. If it's the "same insight", it's probably just a memory. And I think most (if not all) of us yogins and yoginis know that trying to re-experience some kind of awakened state is a serious obstacle to practice. To see things how they are underneath all of our crap, we have to first be radically willing to see the crap. (Of course, I'm using 'underneath' metaphorically.)

Effective practice is a lot like dumpster diving much of the time.

Palabra

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Practice is learning how to practice.

"... and awareness is the result of experiencing the unexpected that violates what the models predict, well then... wow." ~Chris

I know Chris posted this in the "David Eagleman for Buddha" thread, but it resonates strongly with the reason why I was inspired to write this post in the first place.

Seemingly out of nowhere, my going models for insight and meditative development just stopped lining up with what I have been experiencing. I'm finding that I'm approach practice in very much the same way (though, with some evolving differences), but that the direction of practice is changing. Whereas my practice seemed to have more of a "upward and inward" feel to it for quite some time, there is now what seems/feels like a "downward and outward" trend. Awareness is leading me back into the body, dealing with all of the previously unconscious resistance to feeling open and vulnerable, particularly with others. A whole slew of habitual reactive tendencies to protect myself from feeling vulnerable and exposed were brought into the light, and I can see with much more clarity now just how closed off these defenses have led me to be. Intuitively, there is a call to allow these defenses to work themselves out. And, the way to do this is to return to the practice of allowing my innate vulnerability - that raw, soft, sensitive, tenderness of heart - to be exposed to myself and to others. Most of the time, this isn't fun at all. But I can't seem to keep up the charade, either. So, I am doing my best to allow myself to open.



I always knew that the practice inevitably lead "back into the marketplace", but I never knew just how deeply I would need to dive back into this earthy, fleshy expression of humanity. The part of my that longs for complete and total transcendence screams "This is wrong! Stop!" But, the movement of my heart says, "Let it all in. See it all. Accept it all." So, I'm trying to go with the option that aims at vulnerability, and I'm trusting my basic nature, which is (I hope) unable to be damaged by spiritual work of this depth and scope.

In light of all this, I can see why I have a particular affinity for Tantric Buddhism at present.

Here goes nothing, and here's to awareness!

" the movement of my heart says, "Let it all in. See it all. Accept it
all." So, I'm trying to go with the option that aims at vulnerability,
and I'm trusting my basic nature, which is (I hope) unable to be damaged
by spiritual work of this depth and scope."

Jackson, in my experience and understanding a) you can accept it all and let it all in - there is plenty of room for everything and b) your basic nature is unable to be damaged by anything.

Forgive me saying it's interesting to see people feeling things out, whatever they may be. In your case I find some of what you are talking about resonates (such as the part above).

And this idea of "violating models" that you quote in the opening.

Is that like saying things aren't fitting in your boxes? Aren't boxes antithetical to being with things as they actually are?

Interesting stuff, and I'd love to hear how it develops, or others thoughts...

"And this idea of 'violating models' that you quote in the opening.



Is that like saying things aren't fitting in your boxes? Aren't boxes antithetical to being with things as they actually are?

Interesting stuff, and I'd love to hear how it develops, or others thoughts..." ~Ona

In an ultimate sense, of course - there are no fixed reference points. Emptiness - through and through - holds true.

The funny thing about models, in my opinion, is they can be useful for navigating certain kinds of territory. But, not all models are adequate for all kinds of terrain, and so the nature of maps, models and the like are such that they need to be let go of at some point.

For most people, this kind of paradigm-shifting processing is probably unavoidable. Very few of us are of the type to be introduced to mind-essence and then simply rest there, allowing all phenomenal appearances to self-liberate. So, we need instructions in order to develop intermediate skills along the way. That has been my experience, at least.

Thoughts?

I was just coming back to add this, which is from an article I read this morning:

"It was the Buddha who said that Enlightenment is the end of all suffering. This statement
has perhaps created one of the biggest misconceptions in the world of religion and
spirituality, contrary to what is actually experienced.
Just look around you. Don’t you see the amount of suffering taking place? The manner in
which animals are treated, the way small children are exploited, the way humans are
treating each other, the level of intolerance leading to anger, rage and violence, the
bloody wars that are fought in the name of religion, spreading hatred and division. Yet
we have developed a habit of turning our eyes away from such unpleasant situations. We
want to escape seeing. Escaping has become a habit. This is also the way we deal with
our own fears and sorrows. We simply look away from them and think we can escape....
we too will always be disturbed and affected by what happens around us, even though we
may choose to look away. Everything is so subtly connected to everything else."

"Buddha obviously didn’t make a wrong statement. It is our understanding of him which is
not correct, because we use our minds to arrive at every understanding. If we try to
understand Buddha through our mind then we seek what our mind wants, which is
complete happiness/joy with not a moment of sorrow or pain. The mind wants you to
believe that this is possible through engaging in various spiritual pursuits, but this is far
from the truth. You will be disillusioned keeping this goal in your heart. Undertaking a
spiritual journey as a means to evade suffering and escape from it is starting the journey
on the wrong foot itself. The looking will never be deep or complete enough because it is
already biased to start with. This looking which is the result of deep meditation is to be
done without thinking of what it can bring, only with the complete acceptance of what
there is."

from a pdf on Understanding Pain and Suffering at this website: http://www.rajivkapur.com/writings.htm

"If it's the "same insight", it's probably just a memory."-- Jackson

Actually, it has seemed to me to be LESS than a memory, which, after all, one could experience in a fresh, vivid way [see M Proust: Recherche du Temps Perdu, for example]. 'Same' is an idea, a category, into which you file denatured experience. It's a way of dismissing experience.

Hence, as MM likes to remember, with fresh excitement: 'Not knowing is most intimate!'

-- just chiming in on the simultaneous chorus!

"not all models are adequate for all kinds of terrain, and so the
nature of maps, models and the like are such that they need to be let go
of at some point.
For most people, this kind of paradigm-shifting processing is probably
unavoidable. Very few of us are of the type to be introduced to
mind-essence and then simply rest there, allowing all phenomenal
appearances to self-liberate."

For sure. Which is why your post above and others on this forum in recent weeks have continually brought me back to thinking about how these expectations and ideas we have about pain and suffering (whether physical, emotional, psychological) and how having any preconceptions is a hindrance and how our resistance to things seems to be the root of suffering. It's been on my mind a lot lately.