Was it worth it?

Hello! As I've observed that this community consists mostly of individuals who have completed their practice journeys, rather than people who are still pursuing it, I'd like to pose the following questions:
Was your journey worth it?
Did it yield the happiness or results you initially hoped for?
What your current state like?
Were there any unexpected benefits or rewards that came from your practice that you didn't anticipate initially?
Do you now know the meaning of 42? HAHA 

Ponderings:
As someone who still considers themselves a beginner and stumbled upon the abundant practice threads here more than nine years ago, it's intriguing to ponder whether those who were active at that time have since realized their initial aspirations ( •́ ⍨ •̀) . Additionally I just realized that  it's worth noting that the responses received may be influenced by survivorship bias, given that individuals who " failed" or didn't continue their practice may no longer be part of this community to look around. That most of the things I read about are those who attained it not those people who just moved on with their lives ( ´･仝･｀) / .


Thank you!

“Do you now know the meaning of 42? HAHA ”

 

I think part of the journey includes eventually coming to a sense of it having been worth it; a sense which may come and go over time, and  which may sometimes seem kind of irrelevant. 

Wanting to undertake spiritual practice for self-improvement reasons ("what do I get out of this, is it worth it") is also a thing that is part of the journey, and will come and go, and may eventually seem irrelevant. 

The neat thing I find about practice is that can serve as a kind of thread around which everything swirls. Motives change, experiences change, reasons for hating/loving practice change, friendships around practice change. To some degree practice changes, too, even if one keeps to a specific routine of practices (say, a monastic routine in some specific religion). You can say the same prayer every day and it will be different, mean something different, resonate differently, each day, or week, or month. 

So that's kind of part of the fun, or sometimes all of the above is just frustrating, or exciting, or boring, or scary, or sad, or fun... it varies.

I appreciate all the responses; they've given me valuable food for thought. As I continue to practice, I've noticed a growing willingness to embrace change. I've become more open to new perspectives, motives, and an acceptance  of perpetual change (｡◝‿◜｡) .

Thanks Chris  for your insight O(-人-)O 

Chris Marti wrote: I forgot to include something: this thing (awakening and the path to it) fosters basic sanity. This is not always the case because there are people who are awake and yet still kind of crazy or maladjusted. But those are exceptions.

 

How intriguing, Chris. Can you offer some speculation as to why, despite numerous fruitions and  cessation, they still exhibit signs of maladjustment?  I thought by that point they would have adapted or acted  better 

Bit of disappointment after all of those practice to just lack basic ethical restraint  (｡•́︿•̀｡)  . But something that is just all too human.

Chris Marti wrote: I forgot to include something: this thing (awakening and the path to it) fosters basic sanity.

This.

For me it was certainly worth it and waking up initiated a new journey of coming to terms with/accepting myself.

Although the technical aspects of dharma are interesting and fruitions/cessations give one a sense of progress, by themselves they don't do anything for your ethical perspective, which is why I think other practices such as metta and tonglen (coming from a purely buddhist stance here, other traditions have their equivalents) are so important.

Yup, it was and is still worth it. All the practice, the practice of practice, the not practicing practice, Learning about all the forms of dharma, constant learning and changing perceptions.  I see the mile markers on the journey, but it is is never ending...  

Was your journey worth it? - Yes
Did it yield the happiness or results you initially hoped for? - No
What your current state like? - It doesn't seem helpful for my practice to try to characterize that right now. It seems helpful to let go of views about myself.
Were there any unexpected benefits or rewards that came from your practice that you didn't anticipate initially? - most of it I didn't anticipate initially.

I first became committed to the idea of myself practicing Buddhism to become enlightened, liberated and benevolent etc 53 years ago. So far I'd say it's mostly been a path of relating more skillfully with my karma and discovering some of how valuable it is to let go of views. 

The question would seem to imply that there was, or is, some alternative— unspecified and theoretical.

That doesn’t seem to me to be the case. To extrapolate from a Zen master (Katagiri, perhaps) who said, “You have to say something”— you have to do something, make some choice, moment by moment, step by step…
And  thus, here we are.

I am trying to articulate the sense in which, after initial insight, the “choice” to unsee what one has seen, un-know what one knows, feign remaining in one’s prior ignorance— seems more fantasy than actual choice.

I was trying to get at my sense that the precipitating insight is more than just a kind of vision— it’s a recognition of what the vision implies and the sense of being implicated in it. Something of Krishnamurt’s “choiceless awareness,” something related to Trungpa’s warning that there’s no going back from the Tantric path. “Better not to start. If you start, better to finish. You’re riding a tiger.”

Or maybe I’m speaking from my own idiosyncratic perspective and I’m mistaken.

Once passed the A&P Nana of the pre-SE journey, there is no going back. 
That strong sense of a witness behind the eyes can get a strong sense of “this is it! This is the true self that knows it all!” And as such can’t un-see this experiencing. 

From my limited experience that is. 

Btw have no clue what Krishnamurti’s choiceless awareness has anything to do with it?