Getting enlightened or just getting older?

Hey everyone-

A few times I have noticed that the way I react to things has changed in a positive way- the most recent one that prompted me to write this was that my husband is away on retreat, and I feel sad but it is not really bothering me, I'm just kind of okay with being a little sad, where as before I would get so caught up in it!

These changes make me think- "oh my meditation is having a positive effect on my life!" But then I think what if it's just the fact that I'm getting older and more mature? I started meditating when I was 23 and I'm 27 now, and the 20's are notoriously turbulent times for everybody! Or maybe it's just hormones!

SO what do you guys think? Meditation or just regular growing up?

For me its definitely the meditation. There's just so much happening w/ my practice it's impossible to think its just getting older. I'm growing up 10 years in 2.

I have wondered about this lots of times. But it also ties in to other similar questions e.g. meditation or therapy? etc etc Just hangin' with the don't-know mind

I also have spent a lot of time in the past thinking about this. Now, I just see it as gross insights and part of the same process. It's nice to let the two blur together

Meditation. But it has to be active meditation, not just time spent on the cushion.

...although I was probably more immature than most, so maybe meditation let me catch up with the rest of my peers

Yes, both
They can really reinforce each other. Meditation, connecting with more simplicity and openness and clarity, can make it easier to 'grow up' and evolve my interpersonal dynamics, have greater self awareness, better and more natural/inclusive (i.e. non-repressive) emotional self-regulation and expression. Likewise growing more mature and balanced can really help meditation since maturity involves integrity and authenticity and other processes which bring more of our whole being 'on-line' and available.

On the other hand, they can short circuit each other too, as when I use openness/simplicity to negate things like emotions I don't want to have, others' perspectives, or avoid developmental tasks (or just everyday tasks like doing the dishes). Actually, I can't think of a single way in which growing up inhibits meditation though so I guess it isn't symmetrical haha! I wrote too soon.

Derya Anderson wrote: SO what do you guys think? Meditation or just regular growing up?

There is no "just" to growing up. People tend to stagnate at some point of their maturity process and fail to continue to grow up or slow it down immensely. I know 40 year olds who never got past 16 year old maturity. Meditation and other contemplative practices and mostly wanting to grow up and continually improving yourself is what does the work. It's hard work. Most people are not into any kind of inquiry that would require themselves to look closely at themselves and see clearly the problems and possible solutions and the incredible amount of work necessary to change. Talk to a psychologist about how many patients really do the work and make progress. Growing up is the hardest thing to do....I avoided it for half my adult life....maybe more. (and here I go investigating it....in what way am I still avoiding it??? sigh....work to do)
~D

What Jake said.