Jim's practice log

Seeing as how Kenneth's teachings are influencing my practice much more than any other teachings at this point in time, I figured it would behoove me to start a practice journal here. In terms of bringing myself and anyone who might be kind enough to read this up to speed, I'll gloss over the past 15 or so years of my practice, trying to put brevity at the forefront:

* Around fourteen years of daily practice, 20-40 minutes, just following the breath and trying to be mindful. I had no teacher during this time. Around the tail end of this stretch of time I have good reason to believe I went through A&P and the dark night (I had no knowledge of vipassana meditation or Therevadin maps during this time).

*Followed this with about 1.5 years of doing Reggie Ray's Tibetan shamatha and body-based techniques (I've found these to be a wonderful foundational practice for all other practices I've done since). During this time did two 3-day solo retreats.

*Followed this by reading Daniel Ingram's book and starting to do vipassana meditation a little over one year ago. I found the level of specificity with regards to practice and its effects to be very appealing. For me, vipassana practice consisted of stabilizing concentration and then dropping awareness into the body and looking through the 'lenses' of the three characteristics (primarily impermance '“ just noting the rapid arising and passing away of any phenomena that happened to come up. Which I guess puts this practice in the 'choiceless awareness' category). When I described this practice to others, it was in the sense of perceiving the body as something much more akin to a flame or a star than a solid object.

*Went on a two week Dathun retreat over the holidays last year where I did a mixture of all of the practices described above, plus dipped my feet in the Mahamudra waters (more on this later). Crossed some spectacular territory here '“ energetic openings, supernatural craziness, the whole nine yards.

*Practice became discursive as hell for the next few months and was marked by a certain kind of periodic energetic upheavals involving anxiety and heart charka activity (again, more on this later). Nevertheless practice still seemed 'productive' '“ there was still a sense of progress.

*Practice settled down somewhat during the summer and became much less discursive. Interestingly, this coincided with the introduction of the tsa lung/nine breathings of purification practices from Tenzin Wangyal Rinpoche's 'Awakening the Sacred Body.'

*Went on a 9 day vipassana retreat lead by John Travis in late July '“ early August. By this time I was able to get into the jhanas and use them to stabilize my vipassana practice (even though I couldn't experientially parse out the jhanas or tell one from another). This was by far the most productive stretch of practice in my life. We also did some mahamudra/non-dual stuff near the end of the retreat.

*Practice has been extremely stable and blissful since then, with one notable exception. Can parse out jhanas one through seven (maybe eight) and have been utilizing the 'strata of mind' practice extensively along with non-dual practices, as well as the vipassana practice I described above (augmented this time with Kenneth's 'triple noting' technique). The exception here was a quite vivid flare up of the energetic/anxiety/heart charka phenomenon described above. This occurred periodically over three weeks before subsiding.

Overall in terms of long term change, I'm certainly 'on the ride' and probably have been for quite a long time. There's been dramatic changes in day-to-day life in terms of how I relate to suffering (and all of the specifics under that umbrella '“ I'm much less influenced by external factors needing to be a certain way in order for me to be happy). I have no idea if I have attained any paths (I've only started looking closely at those phenomena over the past year or so).

As I continue with this practice log, I'm hoping to delve into questions about:

*What my vipassana practice should look like at this point (body-based or strata of mind? Noting or no?)
*The aforementioned flare-ups of energy
*jhanas and the strata of mind practice
*My experiences with Mahamudra
*Lots of stuff about 2nd gear

For the past three days, I've been working with the second gear practice. This is a practice that is unfamiliar to me, and in reading about it I had a lot of questions. However, maybe it's more a matter of just doing it, and here's what happens when I do:

I sit and repeatedly inquire "who am I? who am I?". My initial response isn't a construct, like for instance "JIm" or "teacher". Rather, I get sort of zoomed into this energetic "essence of Jim"...It's more of a flavor or feeling, really. I work with gently sort of disembodying from that -- if I am perceiving the "essence of Jim", then who is perceiving? At first it's a process -- I disembed and become absorbed in the watcher that perceives "Jim", and then the "essence of Jim" will sort of snap back and become the watcher, at which point I gently disembed again. I just sort of gently, intuitively and patiently work with this.

Interesting that discursive "noise" during this time is *heavily* tilted towards old memories and dream fragments (much more so than any other practice I've done).

At some point the "watcher" that is watching the "essence of Jim" comes to predominate. It has been taking between 25-30 minutes to get to this point. "Jim" becomes more and more muted and irrelevant. As I become absorbed in this watcher, this knowing (which I assume is witness consciousness, please set me straight if not), things become extremely stable and space becomes suffused with the "knowing" element that is present in the 6th jhana. If I explore this "state" with the intent to compare it to jhana, it seems much more solid. It definitely seems to not have a dog in the race.

Could this be it?

Thanks so much for reading.

Jim,

Are you able to notice that "knowing element" in the other jhanas and everyday experience as well?

The technique of riding the arc involves going into the 6th jhana, latching onto that knowing element and noticing that is present in the jhanas as you go down from 6 to 1. You should then be able to hang onto that element and ride up the jhanas as far as you've developed them thus far, and then go back down. It seems the more you do this the higher you go until you've unlocked all of the ones described by Kenneth on this site.

Hi mumuwu-

Thanks for taking the time to read and respond. Short answer to your question is yes, but there are qualifiers: The "knower" is present in jhanas lower than six and in everyday experience, but is not nearly as pronounced as in the 6th jhana or when I am apparently getting fruit from 2nd gear practice. In everyday life, it just seems to pop up at times, or it will manifest if I look for it.

I've never experimented with latching onto it in 6th jhana and intending to notice it as I travel back down -- insofar as where I'm at right now, I'm not sure if I've ever traveled back down. Sometime soon I'm going to sit through a long "strata of mind" session and report back on this thread about what happens. Typically what follows 6th jhana for me is 7th jhana (and the "knower", or anything else, isn't much apparent there).

In my previous entry I made reference to needing to do a long "strata of mind" sit and document what happens. Typically when I do this practice (or perhaps more accurately, what I assume this practice to be) I do it in my morning sit, which ranges from 45 min - 1 hour. I thought it might be helpful to describe this practice and my experience of it in detail. Here's what happened this morning:

As I describe what happened, I'll attempt to keep my own thoughts/questions/assumptions/possible wrong ideas about what is going on in parentheses.

I sit and take stock of how I am feeling, where I am at. I am in a stable place, there is an element of happiness, and I am unable to visualize reaching up and pinching my nose shut with thumb and index finger --I am too locked in where I am at. (Second jhana. Why am I already in 2nd jhana at the start of the sit? This has been going on for a couple of weeks now). I begin "penetrating the object", seeing the happiness, stability and pleasant physical sensations as rapidly arising and passing away, and not a part of self. This has a feeling of "setting it out in front of me".

Within minutes the happiness gives way to contentedness, things become more stable and my relaxed focus of attention widens somewhat. (3rd jhana). I begin "penetrating the object", seeing the contentedness and stable space as rapidly arising and passing away, and not a part of self. This has a feeling of "setting it out in front of me".

The contentedness seems to flicker in and out and things become unstable. "Energy roils around and does not rest comfortably". There's kind of a sense of a TV signal deteriorating into wiggly lines. I just stay with this. I feel tension across my shoulders and pain along my spine and in the liver area (I have a hereditary liver condition). There is a faint sense of nausea. There is still a sense of contentedness underlying the unpleasant sensations and relative chaos.

Eventually the instability settles and the last vestiges of the pronounced contentedness drift away, leaving equanimity The focus of attention becomes panoramic. (4th jhana). There is still some physical pain, however the slight element of nausea is gone. (At this point I start to think: (Typically after resting here I will consciously manipulate this process, visualizing infinite space and dissolving the boundaries of the body to bring about 5th jhana. Does this manipulation mean I am leaving "strata of mind" practice? Should I just continue to sit and be mindful without manipulation? What might happen if I did?).

Things become unstable, as described before. An added element here is electrical-feeling activity, twitches, etc. in my temples and the sides of my head (kundalini). At some point I tire of this and begin the conscious manipulations described above, very gently.

Eventually the instability falls away and along with any "walls" between "me" and infinite space. I can visualize lines extending from me straight out in all directions to infinity (5th jhana). This spot on the journey is always marked by some degree of bodily bliss and profound space in the lower chakras (Why is this? Most of the descriptions I've read of formless jhanas describe them as less physical in nature). As I sit in this space, I resolve to see "what comes next".

The space becomes flooded with a strong element of "knowing". I can no longer visualize straight lines extending outward from me to infinity -- they curve back on themselves and disassociate from a central locus. (6th jhana). Today, this "knowing" element is very strong -- as if it is absorbing me instead of the other way around (is this because I have been doing 2nd gear practice the past few days?).

The "knowing", as well as anything else that one might hang their hat on, fades. Visually, things and colors become muted and dim, as if my eyes are half-closed and relaxed. However, even widely opening my eyes in this state, as long as I am rooted in the state, does not really effect this sense of overall dimness. I realize the word dim has negative connotations, but it doesn't here. This is very stable, peaceful territory. It just seems to have no ground whatsoever (7th jhana).

This is usually where my morning sit stops. Dedicate to the benefit of all beings -- It's time to go to work. I should add here that there was more unstable territory and what I assumed to be kundalini activity in the temples and side of the head between some of what I assume are the formless jhanas, but I can't for the life of me remember between which ones.

I'd be interested in anyone's observations about this practice. Mainly I'm curious about a couple of things (as well as any other observations anyone feels compelled to make):

Am I leaving "strata of mind" practice when I start manipulating stuff to get to 5th jhana?
Is this practice, as described, a vipassana practice that will keep me progressing along the path? If so, is this practice more advisable than the style of vipassana practice I described in my first entry on this thread?

Thanks so much to anyone who takes the time to read this. Jim

I did some reading around the site last night and found some of the answers to my questions. This morning I resolved to sit without consciously manipulating the experience after 4th jhana and just watch the strata of mind unfold.

The ascension was the same as yesterday, minus any conscious manipulation by me. Fourth jhana was followed by fifth which was followed by sixth which was followed by seventh. I did experience unstable territory between each of the formless jhanas. Per yesterday's description of the unstable territory between 3rd and 4th jhana, the instability between the formless jhanas did include the "tv signal going out and getting wiggly" effect, but not the pain and nausea elements (which again were quite strong between 3rd and 4th today).

Past seventh jhana things got hard to quantify. This is territory I am not so familiar with and so I need more time and reps to experientially map it out. I do recall at one point thinking "well, there's not much to say about this".

At some point I dropped back down into the 7th jhana. The descent from 7th to 6th was very nice, as there was a sense of finding some sort of "ground" or "reality" to re-immerse myself in (not that the upper reaches were bad). I descended from 6th to 5th and dedicated merit. It was time to go to work.

This is the first time I've experientially glommed on to coming back down the arc. I am so thankful for this website and the clear, concise, replicable information it contains.

I have a question about the formless jhanas and what place they occupy on the strata -- as they are subsets of the 4th jhana, is this territory all 11th nana?

I see now. Answered my own question again. Formless jhanas correspond with strata 12-15.

I think these are good and valuable descriptions of the jhanic arc. I think many people (including me) seem to blow past the area of 1st jhana right into 2nd. I have very little clues to that territory, whether in nana or jhana form.

Thank you Eric.

Interesting that the other day I was emailing back and forth with a friend about jhanas 1-4 and said this about the first: "it's the hardest one for me to identify and I don't spend a lot of time there".

Did the same strata of mind practice this morning and the territory above 7th jhana is fleshing itself out more. As there's a day-to-day evolution going on here (also with my 2nd gear practice which I am doing in the evenings), I'll continue to pay attention to this evolution and maybe hold off on posting updates until I've mapped the territory...

For my morning sit today, I resolved to ascend and descend the entire jhanic arc as I can access it at this point (in previous days I haven't had the time to descend the arc all the way back down). I also resolved to experentially pin down the territory around the eighth jhana a little more clearly. Here's how it went:

2,3,4,5,6,7,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1.

This took around 45 minutes. Based on previous sits, I'd expected it to take over an hour. So, I continued to sit. After what seemed like a prolonged time in first jhana, back up the arc I went: 1,2,3,4,5,6, at which point I finished the sit, which ended up being 65 minutes.

Observations to add on to my earlier, more detailed descriptions:

Pretty sure I've mapped out eighth jhana. The resistance there to conceptual descriptions is pretty profound. At one point there i tried thinking simply "this is like a..." and that thought would immediately short-circuit itself.

The ascension up the arc seemed quicker the second time around.

The full body bliss I described earlier on coming into 5th jhana is not nearly as strong when I'm not consciously trying to manipulate the jhana into being.

Started my sit this morning by doing 2nd gear practice. This practice has evolved somewhat since starting it two weeks ago. There is no longer any sort of "hall of mirrors" effect (an endless loop of "who is watching I?"). I'll sit and repeatedly inquire "who am I", and more or less immediately a sense of watching whatever energetic "flavor" "I" happen to be comes about (what I referred to in an earlier post as watching the "essence of Jim"). The watcher soon comes to dominate this arrangement and that strong sense of "the knower" floods in. Whereas it took a full 30 minutes for this to come about when I started this practice, now it takes less than ten minutes and oftentimes occurs much quicker than that.

Having become abosrbed in this "watcher", I started the jhanic arc practice. This unfolds more or less as before. I'm still starting at second jhana, and the way the arc presents itself (2,3,4,5,6,7,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1) seems to be indicative of a review phase. Coming down the jhanic arc (during the first sequence) seems to proceed more quickly than going up. Typically, coming down is more vivid in terms of the vibratory nature of phenomena. The "unstable territory" I mentioned before between the formless jhanas seems to have largely burned off. Although I can perceive the seventh jhana-eighth jhana-seventh jhana unfolding sequentially, I don't think I'm to the point where I could experientially differentiate between 7th and 8th jhana without the sequence as a reference point, if that makes any sense.

Things to do:

*Work on 2nd gear practice whenever I can off the cushion
*Continue to experientially "map" 7th and 8th jhana
*Post in this journal about my mahamudra practice and experiences
*Research and learn to look for fruitions (if they are indeed happening -- I have no training here)
*Continue to inquire/try to figure out where I might be in the progress of insight. Is starting a sit at 2nd jhana and experiencing review phase in the jhanic arc indicative of having recently attained a path (particularly in light of the territory I've covered over the past year, detailed above)? My main motive in inquiring here is that I really, really do not want to find myself in a dark night over the Christmas holiday break this year. If I am indeed in a review phase of insight, I'd like to delay progress until next year if necessary (and I readily admit I may have no idea what I'm talking about here

Thanks as always to any and all who read and/or respond. Jim

Jhanic arc/Strata of mind: Moving through the strata seems to be accelerating. It took 28 minutes this morning. Still finding myself in 2nd jhana at the beginning of each sit.

2nd Gear: As the practice evolves, it looks more like this now: I inquire "who am I" while focusing on "I" (again, a certain essence or "flavor" of my presence, if that makes any sense). This is a process of dis-embedding: If I can perceive that essence of "I", it's certainly not "me". I had an interesting reflection this morning that in the past, before I even began doing this practice, there was a distinct locus of self that existed in the area of the head. This is not so much the case any more -- it's much more un-locateable. As described above, the "hall of mirrors" effect when inquiring into "I" is not happening anymore. Typically during this practice my eyes are open, looking straight ahead at the ground in front of me (head slightly tilted down).
(continued)...

I will at times look straight ahead and fill the visual field and inquire "who is it that sees?" -- there is a distinct sense when doing this that the visual field is as much a projection of and intermingled with my "self" as it is an objective phenomenon. As the witness consciousness or "knower" comes to predominate, I'll alternate between inquiring "who am I" (focusing on the now diminishing "me") and stating "I am that", focusing on the witness consciousness. Eventually I'll become absorbed in the witness. Oftentimes there is a sort of borderline twitchy kundalini activity in my temples and the side of the head when doing this practice.

It's been interesting seeing the effects that doing these practices in the morning before work have on my work day (I teach 5th grade). During my morning sit I typically do the strata of mind practice (sans witness). Traversing this jhanic territory has lent a refreshing aspect to the work day.

These past 3 mornings I've done the witness practice on the drive to work (obviously, as I'm driving, including the visual field). Although it's only been three days (and therefore a small sample size), the impacts of this practice on the work day have also been noticeable. Whereas the daily effects of the jhanic arc practice have seemed to emanate from "inside" me (feelings of pleasantness/happiness), the fruits of the witness practice have manifested "outside" -- there just seems to be more space to accommodate whatever might come up, and the witness consciousness more or less stays with me (in a more subdued manner) throughout the day.

Many thanks to all who read. Jim

Something happened during my sit this morning that I did not expect. For context, I should rewind to yesterday's sit. Yesterday morning, while in the upper jhanas of the jhanic arc, something seemed to happen. Up around 8th jhana I seemed to zone out a bit and there was a sort of flash (that's really the only way I can think of to describe it -- a flash of bright light (perhaps) followed by "did that just happen?". I wondered if there was something more to flesh out or something that was trying to happen in that territory (and I didn't describe it in yesterday's notes because typically I like to see if these things replicate themselves in future sits).

This morning as I began my sit I resolved to explore this upper jhana territory more fully (I've actually been resolving this every morning, on account of the previously described intent to more effectively tell apart 7th and 8th jhanas by their characteristics (or lack thereof) as opposed to just where they fall on the spectrum). I climbed through the strata as per usual, starting at 2nd jhana and ascending to the 8th. The eighth jhana morphed into something unusual -- my vision started going through some strange, unfocused, alternately bright/dark/tunnel vision territory. it seemed like there was something more to see here. I figured what the hell -- the name Amitabha had been popping up a lot on account of my researching phowa retreats, so I invoked the name twice. Probably around a minute later, things opened up into a bright, spacious state that very much seemed to be a jhana. This had never happened before.

(continued from previous post)

The character of this space, being bright and spacious, was very different from the character of 7th and 8th jhana, which to me seem to be more or less defined by what *isn't* there. Not being sure where i found myself, I looked at this state and tried to assess it in the context of what I knew. I more or less concluded that this was either a) a jhana that was new to me, or b) I'd slipped back down to 4th jhana (as 4th jhana seemed to be what this state had the most in common with -- very spacious and equanimous, although not infinitely spacious insofar as I could tell). After some time in this space, I found myself back in the (relatively) dimmer territory of 8th and 7th jhana, eventually dropping back through recognizable strata to first jhana.

I spent a relatively large chunk of time in the upper strata this morning. The entire arc, starting at 2nd jhana, ascending to whatever that was, and descending down to first jhana, took 40 minutes. Completing the arc yesterday (without that extra state/jhana at the top) took 28 minutes.

I guess time will tell if this was just an aberration...Any input/advice is much appreciated! Thank you, Jim

Yesterday morning I continued with jhanic arc practice with the intention of further exploring the area around and possibly above 8th jhana. On the ascension of the arc, I spent an inordinate amount of time In fourth jhana before continuing on up to the eighth. It seemed that something opened up past the eighth jhana as per yesterday, but it passed quickly, was not nearly so bright and vivid as yesterday and to be honest it was very difficult to tell. I did again spend a relatively large amount of time in the upper jhanas as at the end of the 45 minute set I had only descended back down to fifth jhana.

This morning again something unexpected happened. I continued with the same practice and rose up to the fourth jhana and spent a (relative to what is typical for me) large amount of time there before descending back down to the first jhana. I then rose through the strata more rapidly than I ever have before, blowing through fourth jhana and into fifth with the feeling of a flower unfolding. I continued to rise up to the eighth jhana and spent the entire rest of the sit there. I became somewhat deeply absorbed and the territory really seemed to be presenting itself to me. I didn't really feel like I could rise above it or drop back down the arc and indeed concluded the sit still deeply in that strata.

Yesterday evening: Did 2nd gear practice, became absorbed in witness state, and moved to strata of mind practice. Starting at 2nd jhana, moved up to 8th jhana within ten minutes. Spend a relatively long time in 8 (another 10-15 minutes). Gently focused attention behind 3rd eye and invoked Amitabha. Moved into the previously described space -- an apt metaphor here would be one's head breaking the surface of the water after being submerged. A feeling of emerging into a brighter, more open space with stability. This was a quick view -- barely enough time to "take a breath" before descending back down to 8th jhana.

This morning did strata of mind practice, rose from 2nd jhana to 8th and spent a longer time in the 8th jhana than any other. Like last evening, focused on third eye area (kundalini activity going on there) and invoked Amithaba. Again -- a brighter, more open space opened up. No doubt about it.

I've got two minds about this. My skeptical side says maybe this is 8th jhana and I simply hadn't discovered it yet and was in the past mistaking 7th jhana for both 7th and 8th. Supporting evidence for this is that I find 7th and 8th jhana
(as I was experiencing them) to be very similar.

On the other hand, I feel like from what I have read and indeed experienced that 7th and 8th jhana *are* very similar to each other. To me, they are "realms of subtraction", identifiable by what isn't there. I certainly feel like I have been parsing out differences between the two and noticing transitions between them. This new territory beyond what I assume to be 8th jhana is substantially more bright and open, quite unlike the previous two jhanas.

Might I be accessing the first pure land jhana?

Did strata of mind practice this morning and rose smoothly and (relatively) quickly all the way up to that bright land after 8th jhana. In doing some research on this site, I am comfortable calling it the first pure land jhana. These descriptions:

"one will be thrust up into what feels like another plane of reality. The feeling one gets when launching in to this state is one of immense gratitude. One may think, "Ahhhhh'¦ Thank you!" This is PL-1. Some noticeable features of PL-1 is that the energy of the state is jammed up in the Brow/Third Eye Chakra...The body is more felt in PL-1 than in 8th jhana. The visual field is vast, but somewhat opaque. It's like a bright light is illuminating a dense fog, causing it to glow"

"For me the Pure Land Jhanas are pure pleasure and accessing them after 8th is like stepping out of a dark tunnel into the light."

...all resonate with my own experience.

Did the same practice this morning. Rose up from 2nd jhana to first PL jhana and back down to first jhana over the course of 24 minutes. Continued the practice, rising up again to first PL and back down to 5th jhana before I concluded the sit. Progress through was very smooth-feeling. In addition to becoming familiar with the upper strata, I've become much more familiar with the territory of first jhana from spending time in it after coming back down the arc.

Day to day experience continues to be *very* spacious. Lots more room than in the past to accommodate things that come up. Lots of feelings of gratitude and compassion.

I'm feeling that given all the signs over the past month or so that I have gotten a path. The question is -- which one? Conventional wisdom seems to be that PL jhanas are only attainable to 3rd path and beyond, yet I've also read Kenneth's words to the effect that "Pre-3rd Path is the best time to discover and explore what I call the Pureland jhanas."...

Many thanks as always to anyone reading. Jim